You know you’ve been throwing up the horns of Facebook too often..

.. When tributes such as this shows up:

EDIT: Caption turned out a little hard to read. It reads “This one is for you Johan! “

I may have had a bad habit of throwing up the horns in certain pics, I had no idea it was so bad it deserved a tribute, though. But thanks, really. That’s epic! \m/

How the platypus broke the science geek..

It’s been a long time since I last invaded someone’s privacy, so here’s a transcript of an SMS chat between Louise and I. It’s a perfect example that I actually do try to have serious conversations about scientific topics every now and then.. And that I they often derail horribly within very few minutes.

In this case, somehow astrophysics begat duckbilled platypuses and everything went downhill from there:

Louise: Damn physics are nice, right now, I’m seriously hoping to draw astro physics for my exam. What joyful bliss to be able to use clearly defined physical laws to hint the existence of possible parallel universes.

Johan: Strange, I thought about astrophysics when I ready your status update, you lost me around that part about constants not being constants though, can’t wrap my head around that nonsense. Good for you, though.

Louise: Must be on to something then. I’ve made a pact with myself not to try to understand the underlying theory, I reckon one would just go crazy trying to fathom that.

Johan: I reckon that’s where my problem lies. I get upset and angry when I run into something I don’t understand and subsequently try again and again, leaving myself hurting and confused. I never did contemplate that it probably was not for mortal men to understand.

Louise: Heh, the mere thought of a time dimension angled onto a x,y,z graph is absud. Nevertheless. Those are the facts.

Johan: No, those are the theories By and large, I’ve a hard time accepting that absurdities seem to be involved in our otherwise complex and reasonable base for existence. The mere fact that the universe is held together by absurdities does not seem very comforting at all.

Louise: I reckon it just makes everything more fun.

Johan: As previously stated, it frightens and frustrates me. The only absurdity I find funny is the duckbilled platypus. Those, on the other hand are funny as fuck!

Louise: Haha.. Word!

Johan: In fact, I was greatly upset when I discovered that platypuses are poisonous, I’d have killed for a pet platypus

Louise: Aww.. Yes.. Please!

Johan: On second though, apparently only males are poisonous,  maybe one should get a female pet platypus

Louise: Can hardly describe how sweet that would be!

Johan: I just hope it won’t be a major mess when she’s in heat. Would be quite a nuisance to have every male platypus in the neighborhood barking up your front door for a week.

Louise: A mighty ruckus that would create.

Johan: Indeed, but such are the woes of a platypus owner. With great joy comes great responsibility!

(… End transmission)

There you go.. Five fucking minutes and what could’ve been a very serious conversation derailed into the woes of platypuses in heat.. Well done, Johan, well done indeed.. I still want a pet platypus, though.

The Ghost of Michael Jackson and the Youtube generation

Wait, what? Yeah, so.. I saw this silly piece of footage on Youtube earlier today:

It’s supposedly a clip from Larry King Live on CNN showing an anormality spotted on camera at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. Umm, okay.. Yeah.. So, anyways, clips like these aren’t new on Youtube, but unlike most others, apparently this one got a fuck of a lot of attention.. And a lot of comments to boot!

Now, the obvious downside to social media and user-generated content is that everybody and their mother can offer their two cents on the issues. And apparently with this surfacing now everybody and their mother and/or dog is an expert on the paranormal.. Which wouldn’t actually be that bad, if it weren’t for the fact that there are a hell of a lot of idiots out there!

I don’t know about you, but I can think of a lot of reasons for an unidentified shadow caught on tape, not many of which are very paranormal. Heck, if that there is the ghost of the King of Pop, then the King of Pop makes several daily manifestations in my living room! Though, these usually coincide with people walking past my windows or the sun reflecting off something and casting a shadow.

Still, I spent some time looking at comments and was kinda confused by what I saw. Most people spent no time in sweeping away rational arguments with comments such as “Oh, that there is no reflection/shadow/trick of light!” with no reasoning whatsoever.. While proudly stating their reputation on it “definitively being paranormal” with such good reasoning as “because it looks like Michael Jackson” or “it just can’t possibly be a shadow” .. Really, let’s jump to conclusions, shall we? It’s a three second event on a piece of live footage that has not been examined by experts, and with no way of knowing who or what may have been in the vicinity when this was shot, info on lighting or anything.. Surely it can’t be a shadow or reflection of a person or something passing by outside.. That’s silly talk!

Now, now, I’ve had my share of “paranormal” experiences, but I call them that because they defied every logic explanation I’ve thrown at them and have usually been experienced or confirmed by others, not because “They’re paranormal.. Coz yeah!” – When did we become so inclined to believe that we’ll not even try to listen to reasoning before making up our minds?

But wait, that’s not all.. No, there’s more! See, the paranormal explanation isn’t the only one.. No-no, the conspiracy theorists are at it, too.. And what they want us to believe is that the footage has been doctored! “Since there is no natural explanation,” they conclude, “the film must have been tampered with!” Again, I fail to see how they rule out a natural explanation, but let’s leave it at that, turn the board on them and go “Why?” – So far the most entertaining answer I’ve heard to this question has been that of: “CNN did it to boost ratings!” .. Again.. Wait? What? First off, I hardly think Larry King Live needs better ratings, certainly not on a day where the topic at hand is the death of Michael Jackson.. Secondly: Wait? What? CNN, the biggest news network in the world, choses to boost their ratings and increase their number of views by airing bogus footage of a ghostly encounter at Neverland? With no further mention of the incident what-so-ever? Guys, sorry, but I don’t think you’ll be seeing CNN airing a “Ghosts are real, and you saw it first on Larry King Live!” story any time soon.. It’s all about a few small things called “keeping it serious” and “credibility in the media world.”

Incidentally this revolutionary theory were set forth by a couple of Danes in a comment threat where they, not five minutes earlier had entertained themselves with comments about Americans being stupid and gullible.. Kinda ironic, isn’t it?

Either way, since we’re apparently at a place now where we don’t need to provide reasoning or backing for our arguments and opinions, I’ll pass my judgement on the footage now: “There is most certainly a natural explanation for this footage because, yeah!”

God Gave Rock ‘n’ Roll To You \m/

Most excellent dudes and babes!

And kudos to whoever can spot all the cameos

The A-Z of Johan

Yes, because I’m that damn bored.. I stole another Facebook game.. And present, for your viewing pleasure, the A – Z of Johan: 

A – Age: 27, going on 28

 

B – Bed size: Queen.. No, I will not tolerate your jokes about sexuality.

 

C – Chore you hate: Erm.. All of them? Dishes, I think.

 

D – Dogs’ names: Don’t have one, used to have a black lab, Nanna.. Yes, that was a Peter Pan reference!

 

E – Essential start your day item: Vitamins, coffee, breakfast.. In no particular order!

 

F – Favorite color: Black?

 

G – Gold or Silver, or both: Silver, I don’t much care for gold.

 

H – Height: 6′

 

I – Instruments you play(ed): Umm.. Yea.. No..

 

J – Job title: Mainly a full time student – Other than that, Office Assistant, I guess.

 

K – Kid(s): No thank you!

 

L – Living arrangements: Basement apartment, I share a two family house w/ one other guy.

 

M – Mom’s name: Anne-Grethe

 

N – Nicknames: JB, The Flaming Dane (yea.. Thanks Moo!)

 

O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: None so far, surprisingly

 

P – Pet Peeve: People who think that anything they yell at me while passing on the street could possibly affect the length of my hair or my decision about whether or not to cut it.

 

Q – Quote from a movie: “Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here’s a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!“

 

R – Right or left handed: left

 

S – Siblings: none

 

T – Time you wake up: Usually around 10 AM. I’m very nocturnal 

 

U- Underwear: Boxers

 

V – Vegetable you dislike: Is horseradish a vegetable? It’s about the only thing I won’t eat.

 

W – Ways you run late: Oversleeping, mainly.

 

X – X-rays you’ve had: Erm.. Let’s see.. Ankle x 3, hips, Dentals x 3, jaw, skull.. Those are the ones I remember anyways.

 

Y – Yummy food you make: I’ll leave that for others to decide.. I think I make pretty decent pizza, lasagna, Chili Con Carne and Mexican in general, though. 

 

Z- Zoo/favorite animal: PANDA!

Gone Insane, But The Memory Remains..

I think I’ve just met Marianne Faithful’s character in this video.. It was.. Interesting.. Mrs Svend Nicolaisen? Fuck you, you faded Prima Donna!

Of pandas and Jethro Tull

I spent a surprising amount of time last night on MSN discussing whether or not a Giant Panda’s supposed inability to maintain its own equilibrium while standing on one leg and playing the flute should necessarily disqualify it from becoming the front man of British classic rock band Jethro Tull.

Hmm.. Wait, that probably sounds a little weird, and it probably was.. At any rate, it made me think that I probably needed to get more sleep.. And/or a new job as to keep my mind occupied and not wandering so much.. It all started with this pic:

Which for whatever reason instantaneously reminded me of this rather famous shot of Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull:

The similarity, as you can tell, is striking.. Which of course sparked the, at that time, humorous discussion of a giant panda fronting Jethro Tull.. My only problem being, that a panda couldn’t possibly stand on one leg..

No worries, my worthy opponent countered, Ian Anderson was probably doing so many drugs in his heyday that he was lucky to get up on one leg as well. Which then spawned a heated discussion about whether or not Ian Anderson was ever on drugs.. Which lasted for all of five seconds until this gem of a video was discovered on Youtube

showing Ian Anderson more drugged up on stage than you’d thought humanly possible.. But, for some reason, still able to perform.. And they claim LSD is bad for you? Tsk!

There never was any conclusion as to whether or not a panda could do the job.. Who knows, maybe Ian even thought he was a panda during the performance, or thought himself chased by pandas.. The only real conclusions that were drawn were that people did a fuckload of drugs in the 70’s, that I don’t think I’d want to see to see a panda on copious amounts of LSD attempting Ian’s dancing and chasing about in this video.. And of course that Jethro Tull are strangely cool in some way. And that I need more sleep.. And something to keep my mind off things.. So I don’t end up having discussions like this and wasting my time telling the world about them..

In four short minutes, you just earned my respect

Sum 41 – Rock Medley! \m/

Another old video that somehow once again sparked my fascination.. Probably owing to the number of 80’s metal references and cameo appearances of two of my personal heroes!

Renaldo Lapuz – We’re Brothers Forever!

Another case of the old news, but this MUST be the funniest American Idol audition ever..

Yes, I’ll fess up, I do love to watch me some American Idol every now and then.. But only the first couple of episodes.. Owing to the fact of 99% of the talent being utterly untalented but entertaining as all fuck.. So I’ll share this little gem with you “for free of charge.”

Down With The Sickness! \m/

I don’t know about New York, but I know I am..

I apparently have the flu.. Which is something, that in true ignorance of the Johan fashion, had to be brought to my attention by others today.. But I guess it does explain why I’ve been feeling like utter crap for the past many days.