Friday November 13, 2009 was a day I’d been looking forward to for months and months in advance. It would be the day where I (along with my partner in crime, Tina, naturally) would finally get to experience one of my favorite, if not my favorite, up and coming metal bands – Five Finger Death Punch – live on stage in a rather intimate setting in nearby Aarhus, Denmark.

Now, there are a lot of different ways of preparing for a much anticipated concert experience. Coming down with a case of the H1N1 (aka Swine Flu) is NOT one of them. Which is why I, as I think you can imagine, got more than a little worried and pissed on the evening of Tuesday 10 November when I was sitting at work and suddenly started feeling heavy headed, queasy, sore throated and dizzy. Long uneventful story short, I went home, crashed on the couch which right now doubles on my bed and stayed there for a solid 60 hours straight, during which the flu hit full force and started a battle of wits and determination with my bodily defense systems.

I wouldn’t say that the whole H1N1 experience was that tough on me physically, I was mainly just tired, heavy headed and completely drained of energy. What was probably worst was the whole mental aspect of not knowing whether I’d be up and about on Friday or whether I’d have to call Tina and tell her that I’d have to cancel the date we’d so been looking forward to. Luckily, as it turns out I needn’t have worried as my determination to rock helped my immune system beat the last remaining germs and so, on Friday morning, I finally emerged from bed, nice healthy, well rested (after having slept most of two and a half days away), and ready to rock!

This fact seemed to really please the Tina as she herself hadn’t really know whether to get excited about the show or whether to fear that the entire ordeal would be canceled. Now that we knew it was on, we spent the morning (which is to say the early afternoon as morning to me is now generally somewhere in the 11 AM – 12 Noon area) making the final plans and arrangements for the day. Our plan ended up being reasonably simple. We’d meet up at Tina’s at around 3 PM, hang out a bit while she more than likely got the last few things done, walk down to the train station, catch the 4:20 PM train towards Aarhus and spend the one and a half hour train ride drinking a few beers. Then find something to eat, hang out a bit, go to the venue, get in and rock out.. Pretty simple, really..

And, of course, it turned out reasonably more complicated than that. For starters, I kicked things off being late to get out the door, when I finally did make it out and a few minutes down the road, I had to turn back as I realized that I’d gone off WITH my glasses on but WITHOUT my ear plugs in my pocket. Which, in the case of a hardcore metal show, is not the way you want to go, doubling back, returning on my way and sprinting a bit now, I made it down to Tina’s only fashionably late.. Only to realize that she, naturally, wasn’t ready either.. See, Tina was in the process of giving herself a decidedly more “metal”-like look for the occasion.. Ahem, yes, granted, a metal-like look isn’t really something you’d expect from a pretty, little, blue-eyed, innocent looking platinum blonde girl.. But as with so many other things in life, Tina went at it full force with loads of determination.. And a rather alternative approach.. Which, as with so many other things she does, you wouldn’t really expect to work.. Yet somehow it does.

So, when I found Tina, she was in the bathroom, applying her 20th layer or so of mascara to finish a prominently dark and smokey eye-makeup scheme which she claimed to be very metal and fitting for the occasion. I’m not quite sure I quite followed her, but I deducted that she looked great as always only with considerably darker (and albeit slightly scarier and more overwhelming) eye-makeup, so I didn’t argue. Having finished that, my wonderful and slightly deranged sidekick then launched into what must probably be the first ever heavy metal related clothing crisis in recorded history.. Yes, dear reader, I didn’t think that would be possible either. But apparently there was a lot of confusion as to whether the outfit of the evening should be all black, as pink a possible or a combination of both.. And what, pray tell, f’ing shoes should the poor girl wear?

I mean.. Honestly, babe, you know I love you.. But sometimes, just sometimes, I think you may be part of the reason why I’m losing my hair

After many considerations, a fair bit of teasing on my behalf and a lot of chasing about the house, trying various things on Tina’s behalf, we finally settled on a suitable outfit of black and pink. After I convinced Tina that heels probably weren’t the most suitable choice in a mosh-pit, we even decided on a plair of flat, pink (of course) Converse shoes.. And were about ready to head out the door.. Which was good considering we were now running so late that we pretty much had to head out the door in order to catch our train and such things.

Walking to the train, we chatted merrily, an activity we kept up through the ticket purchase process and subsequent wait for the train to arrive. We even kept up our conversation on the train, only this time with the added benefit of a couple of cold beers to keep us company.

The first leg of our journey ended in Fredericia, a near-by small town and major train hub where we changed trains and boarded an Intercity Express train for Aarhus. A very packed Intercity Express Train to boot. As such, we spent the first part of the journey standing up which left me more than a little queasy as I was standing right in the connecting joint between two train carts, so I was pretty happy when eventually Tina spotted a place for us to sit down for the remainder of the journey. The remainder of the train journey went without any major discomfort if you disregard the fact that I had to pee for most of the way.

We eventually arrived in Aarhus with a few hours to kill and since it was a pretty rainy, cold Friday evening, most of this time was killed in a major shopping mall located conveniently adjacent to the main train station. Here we spent a lot of time gazing at things that Tina really wanted but that she, thank God, couldn’t purchase as we were going to a rock show and had no way of bringing our things. As curtain call time grew closer, we eventually made our way from the comfort of the brightly lit, air conditioned shopping mall into the cold, rainy Aarhus night and, by way of a local Burger King, made our way towards the venue for the show..

And this is where things really started getting interesting..

So here’s the problem with having worked almost ten years in the logistics and transport industry: you get to know a lot of truckers.. Okay, that isn’t in itself a problem, but stay with me as I explain to you how getting to know people might end up causing you serious discomfort and possibly lasting sensory defects..

Thing is, working with representatives of many of Denmark’s largest trucking companies for years, you can’t help but get to know a lot of fine, trucking people. Such people, contrary to what you might think, are actually pretty nice people and they tend to remember a happy face and be happy to see it again, and as such want to extend a handshake or a greeting.. Now, the thing with people who spend most of their day behind a wheel of a larger vehicle is that you don’t usually get to bump heads with them downtown, at the theatre, in church or even at work. More often than not you will, not figuratively mind you, run into them when they’re at work – behind the wheel.

The problem then becomes that it’s kinda hard to extend a handshake from behind the wheel of a moving truck, so their solution for extending a greeting will usually be to either toot their horn at you, or more commonly, to flash their high beams your way.. Again, a friendly gesture.. Was it not for the fact that trucks are fucking huge things and boast horns that can be heard from miles away.. And enough lights to safely light the way for a Boeing 747 looking to make an emergency landing.. So this small, friendly gesture can pretty quickly warp into a pretty overwhelming sensory experience.

See where I’m going with this? Let’s add up: I know a lot of truckers, a lot of truckers are active at night, I work nights and have to make my way home at night five days a week, you can run into a LOT of friendly truckers on a 70 minute walk home, and they all usually want to say hello – either by tooting their horn or flashing their high beams at you.. The result? I usually arrive home at the end of the week feeling overly loved and appreciated.. And legally blind, deaf and dumb from all the honking, flashing and startling going on..

I sure do appreciate the greetings and well wishes, though. Nobody said that being popular had to be easy..

The above, in case you may be wondering, is short for “What Would You Do On A Rainy Wednesday Morning?” My answer to the above question has turned out to be something along the lines of: “Why don’t I get up three hours earlier than normal and go blow about DKK 4,500 on clothes and shoes?”

Right? Yeah, granted, that doesn’t sound very much like your usual Johan-like behavior.. And it’s probably not, but when you haven’t really shopped for clothes other than the odd band shirt and pair of jeans for the last couple of years, and a local store goes out of business.. Well, what better excuse do you need to go crazy?

Of course, me being the kinda guy that I am, I still haven’t quite gotten into the power shopping habit, so a bit of help was called for.. And, as with so many other of life’s bigger or smaller problems, I turned to my beautiful and trusty sidekick Tina for help. A lot of guys would probably frown upon the idea of having to go shopping with a girl, but I happen to have spotted quite a few advantages. For starters, the girl has taste, she’s quick at picking things out, she knows what fits and what doesn’t.. (Come to think of it, why isn’t she making money working at a clothing store?) And, far more importantly (and surprisingly), shopping with her is a TON of fun.. There, I said it, I know it sounds weird, but I just gone said it.

I know what you’re saying? How can shopping.. With a girl.. Possibly be any fun? Well, probably because for starters we really don’t take anything too serious when shopping together. We’ll look for any excuse to go at each other’s throats and launch into long extend arguments about anything or nothing in particular, we’ll bitch, we’ll gripe, we’ll moan and grab any excuse to offend or scold each other, while still taking the time out for the odd sweet comment or sincere compliment and suggestion.. Basically we’re the old married couple that never were a couple.. Or old for that matter.. And we’ll still feign shock and surprise when people draw the somewhat understandable conclusion that we are, in fact, a couple. It’s led to some pretty funny incidents over the years and left many a frustrated or bewildered store clerk in our wake.. Like the poor, little lady who nearly had a nervous breakdown when she thought our shopping for a new coffee maker for me was turning into a marital crisis.

Anyways, for these very reasons, I’d hooked up with Tina for this Wednesday’s spending spree and since Tina preferred meeting up in the AM, I cut her some slack and agreed to meet up at 10 AM when she just happened to be downtown on other adventures as well. Not so much because I enjoyed going to bed at 4 AM and getting up at 9, but rather because it fit both of us (sorta) and at least that way I’d have the chance to get out of the day for a change.

So, at the ripe, ungodly hour of 10 AM, Tina and I found ourselves knocking on the door of a downtown Men’s clothing store, very appropriately named “MEN”. The store manager greeted us with a smile of the “Oh, good, you again” variety as we trickled in and started searching about. Main priority was to get a new suit for me, a process which was made inherently complicated by the fact that neither of us knew anything about sizes and shapes and both of us were suffering from caffeine withdrawals (i.e. no morning coffee). We eventually enlisted the help of the store manager who not only found a suit with a nice fit and the proper size, but, on my request, also provided Tina with a cup of coffee to pick her up.. And pick her up it certainly did.

I’m actually not entirely sure what happened, but we went from all being rather slumped over the counter and un-energetic to Tina chasing about the entire store, pulling everything out, gazing it over and going “this one, this one, this.. and this one..” – highly strange, highly effective and highly damaging to my bank account.. Fast forward about an hour and I’m DKK 4,500 poorer, but up a new suit, two pair of shoes, a hoodie shirt, a few t-shirts, shirts, gloves, socks.. And other stuff as well! Ouch!

We ended up leaving the store at about 11:30, considerably weighed down by my purchases and entering into a sudden, but predictable, November shower, through which we moved as quickly as possible down to Tina’s where I’m now stuck sipping coffee, listening to Nick Cave, updating the old blog and trying to find some job openings to apply for.. Currently reeling quite a lot and think I might have to head home and catch a bit of shut eye before work tonight..

Yup, still not digging working nights, but as always, it’s better than nothing.. And I had a long positive day for a change.. Yay!

I’m back! Back in a bloggin’ groove! (For those already staring in bewilderment, that was a very old, very vague KISS reference)

It’s been a while, eh? Actually, it’s been longer than ever, I do think.. And I’m sorry, real life, real stuff and real thoughts and feelings sorta took over for a while there.. But owing to increasing demand, frequently repeated requests, my own need to spew out random rants and slurs of profanity every now and then, and last, but certainly not least, my complete utter inability to look a blonde in the eyes and tell her no: I’m bringing weirdness back to the blogging world!

So, my trusty followers, it has been a while, I hope you’re all still more or less here and are doing well. I myself have been reasonably well, hella busy and quite about. In the weeks that have passed, I’ve:

- Learned to laugh in the face of rejection (I didn’t get the job I really wanted, despite them really liking me, they went with someone with more experience)

- Bumped heads and knuckles with rock stars (Tina and I saw Shadows Fall and Five Finger Death Punch live)

- Realized I hate when celebrity chef Alton Brown is right (Coffee does taste better with a pinch of salt and chili con carne does need a splash of supermarket salsa)

- Figured out that I CAN in fact produce a five course dinner with wine pairings that make my awestruck dinner guest state that life probably could not get much better than this.

- Had an epiphany at 4 AM on a Tuesday morning which involved a single glass, a single ice cube and a single shot of Russian Premium vodka.

- Taken on the swine flu and lived to tell the tale.. And all I got to show for it was a lousy stack of extra paper work at work!

- Learned that Steel Panther is the funniest thing to happen to metal since Tenacious D.

- .. Oh and I’ve gotten some applications out as well!

One or more of the above will more than likely turn into stories in the near future, as for right now, I’m off to send another application and continue on the quest towards landing a job.

I feel like I hardly ever update this blog anymore, which is probably a lie.. But still, I know I haven’t been as active as usual. But then, life has been keeping me pretty busy..

Wow, life.. Life suddenly just got very real for me. After struggling through five years of university and a MA thesis, I finally have a job interview tomorrow! As a community and customer service representative at a local expanding internet startup. I’m beyond excited as the job appears to involve large parts of web based communication and focus on Web 2.0 and various emerging and booming web technologies. Basically the exact same thing that the last two years of my life have revolved around.

I’m really proud that my application seems to have peaked their interested and am so stoked to hear more about it all tomorrow. As for right now, I’m really busy prepping for the interview and getting the relevant papers (and myself) all sorted out for the big day. It’s been a while since I’ve had a real job interview, so I’m also slightly nervous, but I have a good feeling about it and am ready to give it my best. Wish me luck!

Take this Friday, for example, where I traded a nice warm apartment, beers, good times and the company of two lovely blondes for a brisk walk through wind and rain all for the love of getting to work and spending four hours staring blankly at a computer monitor.. Wait, I probably should clarify that a little more.

See, like I said, I’ve started feeling a hell of a lot better after taking a day off on Thursday. So much better, in fact, that I quickly decided to go back to work on Friday. Not so much because I wanted to, but more because I needed the money and I wasn’t sure how much work we’d have laying around for the night. Anyways, I’d also promised Tina to pop by her place with a few things for her on my way to work and so when I finally pulled myself together and left for work at around 7 PM, it wasn’t before first making a brief stop at Tina’s to drop off some goods. As my general luck would have it, Tina and her friend Daphne were right in the middle of setting up for a party later that night once I arrived. So I was greeted by the sight of two lovely blondes sitting about, drinking a few beers and having a damn good time.. Which, in case you were wondering, is not really the first thing you want to see on your way to work on a Friday night.. It somehow makes you feel that your plans for the hours ahead are somehow.. Wrong..

The concept of sitting down for a minute, having a small sip of Tina’s beer and catching up ever so slightly.. and then getting right back up, donning your layers of insulating clothing and heading back out into the general mess of Danish fall weather in order to embark on a one hour walk to work.. Is just somehow wrong, and I will tell you right now that I, admittedly, in many ways felt like an idiot for doing it.. Especially after I finally did complete the journey through wind and rain and got into work and my co-worker, Torben, hears the story, takes one look at me and goes: “You did what? You chose what?! Are you fucking insane!!?!” – And this from the guy who I went through all this trouble and emotional pain to help out.. So much for trying to be a nice guy. I guess next time I’ll know better.

All things considered, work wasn’t too bad. Not only was it Friday, but I’d also told the others that the girls would be more than happy to see me back at their party after work, so in true “help a brother out” fashion, everything was being done by everybody to get us done and out the door as quickly as possible.. Gotta hand it to my colleagues in that aspect, you mention something about cute girl(s) waiting for you and they’ll have you out the door as quickly as possible.. Which is, of course, a fact I don’t take advantage off.. Too often.

But, anyways, so yes, after a quick effort, Torben and I were out the door by about 0:50 AM, and since I kinda wanted to go back and see what Tina and Daphne’s party was all about, I was even lucky enough to grab a ride with Torben who lived in the vicinity of Tina’s.. So it was not long after 1 AM (which is usually the earliest I can expect to be off on any given night) that I snuck in the main door at the apartment complex Tina lives in and got ready to crash the party in style. Or as much style as I could possibly muster after a long work week, a late night at work and the remainder of various bugs and viruses still escaping my system.

There’s always a certain bit of weirdness and entertainment value involved with crashing a party that’s been going for a good four or five hours. Simply on account of you being sober and others being, well, not so sober. The crowd that we hang with is usually a pretty happy and friendly one. And apparently even more so when drunk. So once I forced through Tina’s door and stumbled over a bit of garbage and some empty beer cans, I was met by yells from the boys, squeals from the ladies, high fives, hugs and what have you. Before I knew of it.. Or had even sat down or taken my several lays of protective clothing off, I’d even had a shot thrust into both hands and was commanded to drink.. In such a situation, there was really only one thing to do, so I down the two shots before moving on to give a very enthusiastic Katrine a big hug, thinking that my plan of having only two drinks that evening was certainly working well so far.

The craziness spawned by my arrival eventually died down only to be replaced by more insanity and rowdiness most of which I didn’t quite understand due to my late arrival and soberness. So while the room erupted, I snuck off, grabbed a beer from the fridge and headed out into the hallway to chat a bit with Jesper, Katrine and one of her friends. It was all pretty good times and after having nursed my beer for a while, I actually felt up for facing the party and as such made my way back inside to size it all up. I happened to have plans for the morning – namely going to visit my dad and his family in Nyborg, so I had a pretty well-laid out plan for the night to only have a few drinks and go home early. As a result, I was a bit behind everybody else that evening, but that was okay seeing as I was for once really keen on keeping this promise to myself.. And if I weren’t, Tina was keen on keeping the promise for me.. I gotta hand it to her, even when she’s drunk, she’s a sweetie, walking up to me every twenty minutes or so, putting an arm on my shoulder and demanding to know my status and whether or not I knew what time it was and if I was aware how much I’d been drinking. She even threatened to kick me out a few times, but we eventually reached an agreement which stated that I could stay as long as I liked, as long as I drank with strong moderation which was cool with me. So I ended up staying for about three hours, watching the craziness, taking part in the craziness, carrying out strange conversations and breaking a chair or two.. Or, well, I didn’t exactly break anything. All I know is suddenly I had a couple of girls on my lap and there was a broken chair on the floor beside me. I didn’t really stop to ask questions, nor did I care to.

All in all, it was a good old time, and I wish I could’ve taken part all night, but such is the way of the working class and I did have several big plans for the day ahead, so I stuck to my three hours or so of fun before I eventually headed off along with Katrine and her friend at about 4 AM, walking them back through town and then heading home myself to eat a late night snack, drink one last drink and then turning in at about 5 AM for what turned out to be exactly three hours of sleep before being woken by a barrage of text messages at 8 AM the next morning.. But that’s another story..

Wow, I never would have thought, but apparently complaining over the internet does pay off every now and then. No sooner did I star complaining about being sick but not sick enough to take the day off and start feeling better before I got hit in the face with a full on frontal attack of the sickies which knocked me off the feet and kept me entirely incapacitated for an entire day..

Which isn’t really half as bad as it sounds because while I do hate being sick, at least it forced me to take some time off. So, in a completely unprecedented move, I called in sick Thursday evening – on my own account and without facing any kind of external pressure or threats. Granted, Tina did let me know in no uncertain terms what she thought I should do, but I think even she knew I was gonna make my own mind about what to do. Luckily, though, and much to her approval. I ended up making my mind up in favor of her recommendations and calling in sick.

It wasn’t pretty, I wasn’t enjoying it and, to be entirely honest, there was quite a lot of whining and bitching involved on my part. Especially when I started really feeling better at around 9 PM Thursday and was more or less just lying around, feeling bored and thinking that I should be putting my time to better use. But for once, I fought through it, stayed in bed a full 24 hours and got over my spell of.. Well, whatever was bringing me down.

As a result, I got up Friday morning feeling better than I have in quite a while and actually felt ready to face the day. Even more so when I checked my email and found a reply to an application I recently had sent out. A very favorable reply, that is, asking me to call and schedule a time for a job interview which I did. And as a result I now have a job interview next Thursday at 11:30 AM for a really interesting sounding job for a local web company.. Yay! Needless to say, Friday soon became the best day in a long while..

But more on that later. I’ve had, and am still having a crazy busy weekend full of work and good times with both family and friends, good food, good wine, a few good beers and some DIY projects.. More on all of these crazy adventures later. For now I’m off to enjoy the rest of the day with my dad and his family in Nyborg. I haven’t seen them in ages, after all, just thought I’d let the world know I was doing a hell of a lot better and having one hell of a weekend

Not even get sick properly.. Huh? What?

Yea, in case you’re wondering, I’m apparently sick again.. But not like really sick.. Just.. The average Johan kind of sickness. Which involves being sick enough to feel generally crappy, fatigued and miserable.. But not really sick enough to be properly knocked out and just ride off the storm for a few days.

As a result, I keep telling myself that I can keep up at least some of my daily chores including going to work.. And I do manage to get things done. Just in a much harder and slower way than usually.  Well, I manage to get SOME things done, mainly work. The days, in turn are spent sprawled out on the couch, recovering and resting, not really getting anything done around the house.

Strange as it sounds, I wish I’d just get really sick for a few days, be completely floored and get it out of the system in a matter of days. It somehow seems better than the deal I’m currently getting where I’ve been feeling slightly queasy for almost a week now.. Blah, careful what you wish for, I guess.

I apologize for the short post, but I’m off to make some more chicken noodle soup with borderline insane amounts of chili and garlic as garnish. It seems to be my best weapon against whatever it is that ails me at the time being.

This is just a small test. Apparently WordPress offers a feature to let you connect your blog to your Twitter account and automatically tweet updates about new posts. Since I don’t update quite as often as I used to, I thought this would be a good way of letting people know whenever new posts are available.

Nothing much to see here, please disregard. More real updates shortly.

Something utterly weird happened last week. I received a large stash of cash from Tina, and a pretty significant bank transfer from my ex-girlfriend Louise.. Which means that I not only gained DKK 1600 in an afternoon but was also in a strange, unfamiliar situation in which, for the first time in years, no one owed me any money what-so-ever.. Well, none that I know of anyways.

You may think this is a good thing, and indeed it was. But to me, it was also a very unfamiliar situation because we have, literally for the past couple of years, been in a situation where Tina constantly owed me at least some amount of money and where I’d be able to cash in on her debt with me whenever we were going somewhere or doing something.. And then, all of a sudden, this nice, familiar comfortable situation came to an end with her paying off her debt and changing everything.. Clearly something had to be done, because the prospect of her not being financially dependent on my just wasn’t very appealing.

So I did what any reasonable person in my situation would do and lend her some more money! A much smaller amount this time, granted, but it served the purpose of not only bringing things back to normal, but also allowing for us to have more than one concert to look forward to in this year. Long story short, I bought two tickets for us to go see the Five Finger Death Punch + Shadows Fall show @ Voxhall in Aarhus on November 13. Which is cool for a myriad of reasons, the first being that Five Finger Death Punch is one of my absolute favorite bands right now, another being that it’s been a while since we saw any live acts, and yet another is.. Well.. Just the plain awesomeness of it all!

I mean, look.. Most guys my age have female best friends whose idea of quality time together on a Friday night is probably something along the lines of sipping tea together while watching Dancing With The Stars or America’s Next Top Model. Me, I’m blessed with Tina who’d take a beer with a Jägermesiter chaser over a cuppa tea any day and would all but love to spend a Friday night leading the charge with me in the front row at a thrash/metalcore show.. Hah! How awesome is that? I mean.. really!

But I digress, I guess, but you’ll have to forgive me on account of me being just a wee thrilled about the fact that I’m seeing one of my favorite bands live in a month in a small and intimate setting with good company. I really could think of worse ways to spend a Friday evening..

In closing, things are better now than they were just a few days ago. I have more concerts to look forward to, Tina once again owes me money, and rumor has it that Denmark beat Sweden in footie this past Saturday and is now heading to the World Cup in South Africa next summer