Blessed are the drunk..

.. For they shall make you laugh, even in the morning!

Being out of food, I had to take the long hard walk to Liva, the local supermarket, to buy not only breakfast, stuff for lunch and dinner but also supplements and what all have you.. So it was while dragging one hell of a heavy properly marked Liva plastic bag back to my house that I ran into a couple of obviously intoxicated highway men. Though I tried hard to slip by them, the ensuing conversation went something like this:

Drunkard 1: Heeeeeaaaayyy!

Johan: Umm… Hi?

Drunkard 1: Hi!

Johan: Right.. Hi!

Drunkard 2: (Downs beer)

Drunkard 1: Hi! How’s it going?

Johan: Uhh.. Good, you?

Drunkard 1: You’ve been doing some shopping, huh? I’m goood!

Johan: Well, usually I just enjoy carrying around huge grocery bags for shit and giggles, but yea, this time I have been shopping!

Drunkard 1: Oh, that’s great! Haha! You’re funny! We’re on our way to see the police!

Johan: I seeee?

Drunkard 1: Yea, see that guy there?  (points to Drunkard 3)

Drunkard 3: (belches, staggers)

Drunkard 1: Fuckers took his moped keys!

Johan: (with irony) For shaaaaame!

Drunkard 2: Stopped him twice yesterday, they did, then took his damn keys!

Drunkard 1: Look at him, he can barely walk, how’s he supposed to get around without his moped?

Johan: I wouldn’t know.. Uhh.. Good luck with that..

Drunkard 2: Hey thanks! We just don’t (hick-up) know what to do if we can’t get his fucking keys..

Johan: Well, I suppose if he can’t walk, the police would either drive him home, or you could just leave him leaning against the counter..

Drunkard 1 & 2: Ahahaha.. Yeah!

Drunkard 2: Or they could put him in the slammer.. Wouldn’t that be funny? If they locked him in the holding cell.. Yea, that’d be great.. Hahahaha!

Drunkard 1: Yea.. He’d feel right at home.. Actually, we all would.. Hehe.. Yea, the holding cell.. That’s great!

Johan: Aaaaanyways, good luck with that.. I have to set a quicker stride now.. For totally unrelated reasons!

I don’t know what it is with all these drunken people staggering around town on weekdays lately. It’s like I don’t even have to wait till weekend evenings to experience funnily intoxicated drunkards staggering about.

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5 responses to “Blessed are the drunk..

  1. or else you’re just at the wrong places at the wrong time! :p

  2. I agree, Mads! It was one of my favorite drunk guy moments ever.. And that’s from someone who’s used to seeing you and Dunkel drunk! 😉

    Rikke? Me? Never!

  3. Dunkel and I don’t drink alcohol!

  4. Riiiiiight.. My bad! 😉

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