Vegan Week 2008: Day One Roundup

“Oh, animals.. I wish I knew how to quit you!”

Ahem, I apologize for that.. That was pretty tasteless. Now, first things first, while we’re at apologizing, Tina pointed out my rudeness in being quite happy to talk about her flunking one of her exams, but not mentioning anything about her passing another. So while I’ve no doubt that deep down she knows I’m proud of her, I’ll publicly tip my hat to her on a job well done. You were right, I probably was a little too busy talking about crazy new ideas.

While we’re at crazy ideas.. Lets talk a bit about my first day as a vegan! Well.. Where to start? Quitting meat and dairy cold turkey definitely is a weird experience, and a major challenge seems to have been finding out just what the fuck to eat. So, indeed, when Tina and I met up downtown this afternoon for a bit of a shopping spree, it was with a mutual feeling (and loud outcry) of “So hungry!” and of course things didn’t improve much as the talk started evolving around possible ideas for dinner and other dishes.

I’d brought along a couple of pieces of fruit which we sat down to eat while waiting for the rest of the people to show up for a meeting we had planned at the Student House. While sounding like a good idea, fruit doesn’t really help much on a growing hunger, it turned out.. Especially not if you’re tiny like Tina and have a hard time even wrapping your head around the humongus apples purchased by a starving Johan.. So after a two hours meeting, we were pretty much both feeling miserable and hungry as ever before.

Which hopefully goes to explain why during the first hour following the meeting, we spent a combined total of well over DKK 600 (which now, owing to the messed up exchange rate, is well over USD 100 as well) on various vegan groceries which we then rushed home to Tina’s in order to get started on the whole cooking like a vegan process.

So, how was vegan cooking for someone who, while favoring greens, gets a kick out of cooking with things such as cream, butter, bacon and cheese? Well, surprisingly good, honestly! I really and truly think I made one of the best dishes I’ve made in a long time.. And the simplest one, too. Whole grain pasta cooked al dente tossed with blanched broccoli, stir fried sundried tomatoes, spring onions and chilies, dressed with toasted pine nuts, black pepper, olive oil and lemon juice. What with both of us going into this not knowing at all what to expect, I think it’s pretty fair to say that we were quite surprised that vegan food could even taste this good.. What a pleasant surprise!

And what does a pleasant surprise usually mean for Johan? Well, loyal readers will know that once I’ve actually done good things for a while, it’s about that time when I’ll start jinxing myself.. And today was no exception. I should’ve known it’d be time to sit down and postpone the rest of the day’s chores by the time Tina started not finding my increasingly rude remarks and jokes funny.. But no.. I just had to go on, I even thought I should make up for my rudeness by helping Tina puree a batch of vegetable soup for the coming days.. Well, hand a tired Johan a stick blender, a couple of gallons of boiling soup and a will to impress.. And you can pretty much figure out the end result for yourself. The good news is that Tina was covered up better than I was and so I didn’t get any veggie stock napalm on her beautiful silk tops.. Or her skin for that matter.. The bad news that not me nor the kitchen was as lucky as she was. The kitchen paid the ultimate price in terms of getting drenched in rich creamy soupy goodness while I managed to stagger away with only about twelve minor burns to my left arm.. But that’s okay, things could’ve been a lot worse, I mean, I could’ve covered poor Tina in boiling soup and I think that’d probably have been the end to my attempt of trying to impress and please her.. Not that this twist to the story served to impress her much, but at least I scored a few measly pity points, and I would’ve never forgiven myself if I’d actually gotten her in the way I got myself.

So, yea, that was about the end of my streak that evening. At least in terms of doing good.. I continued to succeed quite well in being a fuck-up. After spending quite a lot of time cleaning up the mess I’d made, we decided to watch some a DVD and naturally, it didn’t take me long to get into a losing battle with Tina’s couch which ended in a near sprained elbow for me as I for some reason decided to hit my arm really hard against the back of the damn couch. Tina in her sweet, little way proceeded to shake her head at me, scold me for not taking care of myself, then sorta propping her legs up on the couch so I could lean back against her feet and knees and rest my back while watching TV and trying not to hurt myself. A gesture I repaid by smashing her foot with my elbow as I leaned back.. Yea, I can totally see why this girl is so fond of hanging out with me. But that was the last stupid thing I did that night, promise! Well, if you disregard me forgetting my drinking glass downstairs while climbing upstairs and several other rude remarks made towards the poor girl in more efforts to be funny before finally heading home and letting her catch her beauty sleep.

If I’m to conclude anything from the above it’s that I should not be allowed to get out of bed before 11 AM.. Oh and also that being a vegan probably isn’t so bad after all.. As proved again by the nice, quick, spicy tomato and kidney bean soup I just had. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to get my stupid, vegan ass to bed before I find alternative ways of making a fool out of myself. One day down, six to go! 26 hours of vegan goodness. Wow.


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