You’re gonna burn in Hell!

Ever had one of those moments where you’ve laughed at something really inappropriate and felt like a total bastard afterwards? Need I mention I get those moments a lot? Like today, I tagged along on Tina’s (and Louise’s) trip to ASB – Aarhus School of Business – their school up north. While they were doing their classes I was sitting in the hallway reading a piece on the science and technology of every day things. When the girls finished their classes Tina came and sat with me while the rest packed up and got ready to leave. As we’re sitting there chatting, an obviously blinded girl, cane and all walks by and Tina cries out “Bye, Kathrine!” the girl turns towards the sound, smiles and replies “Yea, bye, I’ll see ya around!”

.. It isn’t until about a minute later that Tina notics my face going slightly purple and my teeth digging into my lip that she realizes the true extend of what had just been said.. And it isn’t till this point either that she, too, cracks up and starts telling me that I’ll definitely burn in Hell for things like this.. I fear she may well be right!

What on God’s green earth was I doing a hundred kilometers from home, having fun on behalf of the legally blind, you may well be asking by now? Well, see, thing is that Tina and I were on the prowl for a bar table for the Student House and the fair city of Aarhus just happens to have a couple of major furniture outlets such as IKEA and local Danish clone ILVA. So I tagged on for one of their school days up there to help look for said table.

As our luck would have it, no matter how many miles and miles of exhibition space we crawled, no matter how hard we looked and no matter how many incompetent employers we talked to, we were completely unable to locate a suitable table. At one point I nearly, out of semi-frustration, picked one that I thought pretty fitting but luckily I had my beautiful assistant there to point out to me that the damn thing didn’t actually fit all that well into our existing arrangements.. Well, see, this is why I’m not a house planner! 😉

Anyways, proving utterly unsuccessful, we took to just goofing about in IKEA’s accessory department, picking up stuff that we just couldn’t live without, or thought we needed, or never knew we needed. I think at this point Tina and I may have fallen a little into our “old married couple” routine as this trip saw Louise running away from us several times shaking her head, and even once muttering “Oh for the love of fuck” when (for God knows what reason) we simultaneously took to staggering around, yelping and crying out “HAAALP!” .. Anyways, good times.. And good loot as well. I came home with a carving board, a butcher’s block (YAY!), a flexible cutting board (that I’ve only been looking for since like forever), a steel colander (a kitchen utensil which my girls have insisted for ages would help me suffer fewer burns in the kitchen – bah, humbug!) and a knife block. Tina, after much begging, came home with some pots, plants, a DKK 16 pan (which I predict will hold up for but a single frying session) and a drying stand whereas Louise fell in love with some big, fluffy pillows. All in all, we had a pretty hard time dragging our loot back to the car which admittedly was owing very much due to my male pride which fully allowed me to bitch and moan about the weight of what I was carrying, but on the other hand did not allow me to accept the girls’ offers to help me. In turn, I opted to carry my burden proudly and volunteer a miraculously free hand to help Tina with her bag.

Once in the car, our weak and weary heads set their sight towards Kolding and we sped off into the night. We dropped Louise off at around 6:30 PM (having set off at noon) and Tina and I continued to the store. We’d decided to have a little late night dinner together, but somewhere along the way between Aarhus and Kolding, our idea of a healthy chicken noodle soup had warped into steak with hasselbach potatoes, red wine sauce and a side salat.. Y’know, the usual Tuesday meal for students our age.. Eh, anyways.. Somehow we figured we’d earned it. Having made it alive through IKEA just an hour or so before, shopping at the local megamart seemed  a breeze and we were quickly back at Tina’s where we assumed the difficult task of lugging all our purchases of the day (including a half ton or so of groceries) from the car to Tina’s apartment.. What is it with me and carrying shit up the stairs these days?

Having barely made it through the front door, we tore right into the kitchen where, in the  words of Ronnie James Dio, “We Rock(ed)!” It’s quite funny, really, Tina used to never like to cook or just couldn’t be arsed to.. Me, on the other hand, I usually actually prefer to be alone in the kitchen, do things my way and in my pace.. To a point where I’ve actually gotten confused and not known what to do if people offered to help.. But with Tina (and with Zascha when she was still living here) things just seem to work out.. Queue more old married couple comments. Anyways, potatoes were peeled, sliced, oiled, seasoned, mushrooms were washed, cut and fried, greens, lettuce, tomatoes, veggies and what not for the salad were handled at an amazing pace.. And just for good measure, we even threw together a quick starter dish of Italian tomato salad.. Which we devoured in about two minutes, leaving us with a half hour wait until the main dish was finished.. Oops!

Anyways, it was a dish worth waiting for, and I’m happy to report to those fearing that we’d grow too thin from our little vegan adventure, that we actually spent the good part of an hour chowing down on dinner, not even finding much time to exchange but the briefest little conversations.. And believe you me, the chance of both of us keeping our mouths shut for the good part of an hour is about slim to none.. I often get blamed for keeping people too well fed, but this time around, it really wasn’t solely my fault.. Woohoo! Of course, it wasn’t long after this engrossing meal that guilt set in, so what better way to end the day than to spend an hour walking around Kolding by night checking out the sights and sounds and promising one another wholeheartedly to eat smaller portions from now on.. Of course, upon bidding Tina good night, I had the added bonus of having to drag my heavy wooden IKEA purchases all the way home, so I definitely feel like I’ve done my fair share to work off (some?) of the meal. Whether true or not, I can’t really be arsed.. It’s been an exhausting day and tomorrow will be even worse, so for now , I bid thee goodnight!


4 responses to “You’re gonna burn in Hell!

  1. Hey baby, just want to let you know that I’ve written on my blog for the first time in over two months! Are ya proud??
    And FYI, I also just realized that despite my absence, I actually have about 2.000 more visitors to my site than you 😀 sweet!!

  2. Hmm.. Blah! Well, my blog still rocks more! So hah! 😀

  3. That’s only because you write about rock… Nah nah!

  4. Pingback: Fear Of The Dark: On the consequences of working late « Random drunken rants

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