Did I ever take a time out to rant about sleep deprivation on here? Oh, right.. I guess I did.. Blah.. But really.. I honestly feel like my life has been going on a bit too much in the fast lane lately, even for me. I honestly think that since the weekend before my birthday, the only day I didn’t engage in some sort of binge drinking experience was Wednesday when Tina and I only split a single bottle of wine (albeit a good one) over a nice, little dinner.
Thursday, Louise, Lea, Martin and some bloke named Ulrik went to the local sports centre to see the Danish Olympic Handball team defend their honor against some all-star team from the Danish league. It went as could pretty much be expected when I engage in sporting events, we received a sobering ass-kicking which was only made slightly more bearable by the number of beers we threw down to defend ourselves from the heat.. Oh, and if someone happened to be watching the game on TV and saw a bunch of idiots dancing in their seats to Lou Bega’s “Mambo No 5”, that would be Louise and I.. Funny how you only notice the cameras are on you when it’s already too late.. Of course, by that time we’d already drawn negative attention to ourselves because we’d managed to somehow locate the wrong set of seats and managed to sit there for the duration of the time it took for the place to fill up before we had the error pointed out to us and then had to walk the entire length of the field to our new seats under the scrutiny of about 2000 handball fans.. Whoops.
Anyways, the game REALLY wasn’t anything to write home about and as such, we decided that the only thing to do afterwards was to get wasted.. So, we gathered the troops, sent out invitations to Einar, Tommy, Dunkel, Penny and Martin and pretty soon we were trashing Louise’s place for the second time in a week.. And all I can say is that the plan worked quite well. Apparently throwing down a few cases of community beers while passing around a 1 liter bottle of Tullamore Dew works quite well and pretty soon Dunkel, Louise and I were singing German schlagers at the top of our lungs while the rest of the party watched in horror.. Good one guys! Everything eventually wound down at around 3 AM after some surprising injuries and guest appareances by people who may or may not have actually been there.. According to who you ask.. No flour or ketchup related incidents this time around, though.
Surprisingly, I woke not five hours later, feeling strangely well for someone who had consumed a shitload of beers and countless shots of Tullamore. I did feel a slight discomfort coming on, though, so I figured the only proper thing to do would be to get a hold of Dunkel and have some beers. Dunkel, luckily, was quite up for the idea as he had his friend Petsen from Aarhus coming over a few hours later and he thought it’d be nice if we were nicely wasted by the time he showed up.. So we got to it.. And once again achieved great success! By the time Petsen arrived, we were staggering about happily, working on a lounge version of our classic speed metal song “Skyd Dine Børn” (Shoot your kids) which had been stripped of all sorts of distortion and lowered to about a fifth of the original pace.. Probably less.
Petsen arrived just in time to help lay down the drum track which this time around was laid down on a combination of beer cans, a cow bell and various skulls as we took to hitting eachother over the heads with the sticks mid song.. An epic event which was of course captured in the final mix. After some recording, some more drinking and some ruthless playing around with homemade shots, we were quickly running out of things to drink. The solution seemed simple, get hold of Robert by phone, find out if he was sober, then ask him to zoom by the supermarket for a case of beers.. Something he actually agreed to and soon the beers were once again plenty. Despite us being joined by some of Petsens new band mades who seemed a bit of a motley crew, featuring a guy from Aarhus, one from Kolding, another from Copenhagen and a Canadian drummer who looked a hell of a freaking lot like Dave Grohl.. The fact that he was actually named David only added to the confusion. I must say, though, for a bunch of rock stars, they really didn’t drink much and most of them were out the door before Dunkel and I could even figure out what was going on.
Disappointed, we headed outside for a while to sit at a bench and have a few beers while playing some drinking games, this went well for a while before Robert and his girlfriend, Anne, forfeited as well and Petsen decided he needed some sleep. With one guy sleeping in the apartment and only the two of us left, Dunkel and I saw no real reason to move on and despite my threats to crash there, I ventured the long hard way home to catch a few hours of sleep.
Saturday, Louise was out of town all day for some football cup, so I was once again on fish duty. This time, however, I had a key for her apartment, so I kicked off the day by walking down to her place, feed the fishies, pick up two of Dunkel’s folding chairs and then heading over to Dunkel’s with them.. Here, we once again postponed our hangovers by throwing ourselves into another day of binge drinking. This time around, two of Dunkel’s other friends, Mads and Christian (aka Thiller aka Bjarne) would be making the trip down to party with us and everybody pretty much knew it was gonna be a wild night. So Dunkel and I decided there was nothing better to do but to go down, buy a few extra strong lagers and some bubbly cider stuff and set our asses down at the train station to wait for the boys.. And so we did, cashing in on a few weird looks at the station as we sat there at 2-ish PM, drinking beer, throwing random king fu moves at passing wasps while whisteling the theme from Top Gun. The guys seemed to like our style as they arrived, though, so together we went down to the nearby lake to watch the water flow by while throwing down some more beers and receiving even more weird looks from random passer-bys. At some point, Petsen, too, joined us and from there things kinda spun out of control.
The beers were a little too plenty, the sun a little too hot and the food much to scarse. After sitting around at various benches for a while, having played silly games like “chug that 7.5% alcohol by volume beer, bitch!” and yelled at random passer-bys while pouring beer down eachother’s necks.. Back of the necks that is.. we decided to head down to the local burger joint for some lunch cum dinner. Strangely enough, they let us bring our own beers into the joint which probably didn’t help us sober up much. While there, we decided to give first Tina, then Jakob a call as we knew Jakob lived right by and that they might be hanging out there. Jakob invited us to pop up for a few beers which may have been a bit of a bad idea as we actually took him up on the offer and showed up not 30 minutes later, drunk, rowdy and probably senseless as well.. Christian sporting a new headgear he’d made out of the plastic rim from a six pack, Petsen sporting brown spots on his shirt after I’d dumped stout all over him, and me with about half a bottle of Fine Festival beer in my long assed hair.. Ew!
After a beer, I tried hard to gather the troops to leave pretty quickly as to not overstay our welcome or tear into Tina, Jakob and their friend’s dinner. But rounding up a bunch of drunken guys some of whom have started smoking and others playing playstation.. Well, wasn’t all that simple.. But we eventually managed, made our goodbyes and headed out in search of supplies which consisted of another case of beer and two bottles of schnapps.. Plus a tin of canned tuna that I somehow fell in love with at the register. We then headed back to Dunkel to watch a movie while waiting for people to arrive for the party we had planned for the evening.
And that’s admittedly when things got a little fuzzy.. Two of Dunkel’s other friends arrived at around 6 PM and the beers and schnapps started flowing.. I remember winding up outside with Christian at some point, talking about the weather before somehow getting in a verbal fight with Dunkel’s “neighbours” from across the yard because we didn’t think their music was nearly metal enough. As we’re standing there shouting back and forth, Mads comes running out the door and starts spewing his guts out over the balcony which kinda put an end to that whole conversation.. Dunkel’s other friend Bue then joins the party and sits down to talk as well.. And things go black. I vaguely remember a bunch of us calling up various friends and trying to sing Iron Maiden’s “Fear Of The Dark” (more or less correctly), I also remember talking to Louise on the phone at some point and pretty much being too drunk to hang on to the hand set.. I can’t have been pretty.. What I don’t remember is everything else.. Well, except waking up.. Wondering why my bedroom is backwards all of a sudden. As I realize, I don’t own a bedroom closet, I figure out that maybe I’m not exactly in my own apartment. Further inspections show that I’m at Louise’s where I must’ve passed out after feeding the fishes.
After gathering my senses for a while, I head back towards home.. As I get to around Dunkel’s, I realize that I’m not wearing my glasses, so I decide to pop up and ask if anyone there had seen my glasses. As I arrive, Dunkel and Christian are more or less passed out while Mads explains to me that I was surely wearing my glasses when I left Robert’s.. When I exhibit some surprise about having been at Robert’s, I’m told that not only were I there, I apparently also broke a waste basket as I mistook it for my chair.. Lovely! Onwards it is, then.. As it turns out when I got all the way home, my glasses weren’t there either, so back to Louise’s it was then.. Where I finally locate them and walk home.. Again.. But not before having discovered that one of her fishies which had bellied up a little earlier in the day but was still eating was in fact not doing well at all.. Not able to get hold of Louise to tell her the state of things, I spend most of the night (or the two hours left when I got home anyways) not sleeping and waiting for her to respond.
When she finally does at around mid day Sunday, I tell her the bad news and then agree to go down and put the poor fish out of its misery which I wasn’t at all too happy about coz I kinda like living things, but I managed. I then walk back to Dunkel’s for a recovery beer with the boys and a bit of movie watching. As Louise arrived back from the football thing, I went down to her place to hang out and end up being invited to her dad’s for dinner which I reluctantly agree to, not feeling too hot or up for it, but not really feeling like cooking myself. In the end, the deal ends up getting canceled which was probably for the better, so Louise goes on over to her dad’s alone while I die for a while on the couch before she comes back and hangs out a few hours before having to go to work.. In my sleep deprived state of mind, I figure that getting to sleep shouldn’t be much of a problem at this point.. But obviously, I’m wrong. After a few hours on the couch, I try the whole bed thing at 3 AM, but it’s just not working for me, at 5 AM I’m still not at sleep.. Or at 7 for that matter.. A little later, I do fall asleep but wake up after about 20 minutes due to the heat. This whole dance of falling asleep and waking up goes on for a few hours before I just finally give up and get up again..
It’s Monday evening now, and still no sleep for me.. Sheesh.. I do believe someone’s gonna sleep well tonight.