Solving food mysteries, one fruit at a time

“Can I ask a stupid question,” Louise asked as I busied myself carrying my small array of plants from one window to another “one that’s probably gonna make me sound like an idiot?” – “Sure,” I said, thinking that her question could probably not be that stupid, regardless of me jokingly belitteling her IQ every now and then.

“Why are some of them red and others green,” she inquired, pointing at the small fruits of my chili plant. Chuckeling slightly, I told her that this was because some of them were ripe and others weren’t. Chuckeling, mind you, not because I thought she was being stupid, more because I myself probably wouldn’t have know in the days before Tina suddenly showed up on my doorstep packing a chili plant – and because, for once, I got to sound all smart on a subject.. And I do like that feeling.

One subject I’m probably not too smart on is that of the common cold. Had I been a little more wise on this subject, I probably would’ve realized that the common cold is a contagious son of a bitch and I probably also would’ve known how to recognize the symptoms rather than just ignoring them and pressing on completely oblivious to the state of my own health. Had I been this wise, I probably could’ve spared myself and Louise a bunch of hardships as I’d been able to realize that I, myself was coming down with it and, as a result, spending the last couple of nights with Louise probably wasn’t the smartest idea of all.. Blah, well, to make a long story short; when we woke up this morning, we’d both caught a nasty case of the cold.. One that I felt partially responsible for because, well, I started it.

As a result, I spent most of the day trying to atone for my sins, an arrangement that Louise seemed to enjoy as it involved me getting up, shopping for breakfast, making and serving breakfast as well as handing her orange juice, vitamin C and tea with honey.. Which, unlike me, she actually enjoys so we weren’t talking cruel and unusual punishment.. My efforts must’ve worked because not only did her fever subside, she also got some color back in her cheeks and even made a weak attempt of kicking my ass when I labeled her as someone with an IQ of 80.. This, of course, also meant that I had a hard time keeping her in bed which kinda sucked because the young lady had a football match to play this evening and was hell-bent on doing so, despite my – more than reasonable – arguments warning her against it.

I knew the battle was lost from the get-go, though, because Louise is smart enough to use my own logic against me and everybody who’s read but a few posts on this blog will know that my logic is flawed to say the least. Louise, of course, used this to her advantage in arguing that since I, according to my logic, did not have to stay in bed, relax and get better when sick, then neither did she.. A perfect example of applied logic which is hard to argue against with anything else than a “well, you should know better” which was easily countered with a “well, I’m still young, unlike you, I’ve a lot to learn” .. Bummer.

The result was predictable. The young lady got to go to her stupid game and fuck herself up even further – but not before I at least got to treat her to another one of my food-related experiments; home-made tomato soup. A dish that came to be through another installment of flawed logic.. See, when people are sick, they need soup, I knew this much. I also know that Louise can be somewhat of a picky eater and as such didn’t know what kind of soup to purchase or make, except I’d heard her rant about making tomato soup with Lea using canned tomatoes.. As I think that using canned tomatoes is comparable to several of the carnal sins when fresh tomatoes are in season, I decided to concoct a tomato/basil soup using ingredients that couldn’t possibly offend her, namely tomatoes (regular and plum), home-grown chilies, garlic, finely chopped onion, extra virgin olive oil a plenty, vegetable stock and of course heaps of home-grown basil. I’d have opted for roasted sweet peppers, but then I remembered she has an aversion against those, so no..

It was all rather a gamble as I’d never actually made tomato soup before and was going on gut instinct, but the result was actually pretty damn good and certain to knock out any minor colds. I will have to say, though, that I grow some damn fiesty chilies, but that’s all good when you’re sick, I guess. I even managed to solve another food-related mystery in the process as apparently there was some confusion between Lea and Louise as to why tomato-based dishes produce bright red miscolorings on white cookware – a question that was easily answered after Louise took one look at the scolded, skinned tomatoes going into the dish and the surprisingly red hue of their flesh.

So, early dinner in front of the TV it was, then.. And off to play football the girlfriend was and then off to care for Tina’s plants I was because Jakob and I have agreed to take turns looking after her plants while she’s off doing her internship. Not the most interesting task on a day like today mostly because the weather is utter crap, but something I’m happy to do for a good friend and, well, if I hadn’t been sick and neglected the chore for a while, I probably wouldn’t necessarily have had to head over there today.. But since that was the way I rolled, I thought I’d better check up on things.. And, Tina, I’m happy to report that all was well and that, as of yet, no plants have died.

And that’s it for this rainy day, I think.. I’m gonna go curl up under a blanket with a cup of coffee and maybe a wee dram and face a night of doing absolutely nothing at all.. Mmm.. Oh, and yes, I know I refered to both chilies and tomatoes as fruits, knowing fully well that somebody is gonna contend that this is utterly silly.. To you I say: Prove me wrong.. I still think they’re fruit and/or berries.

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2 responses to “Solving food mysteries, one fruit at a time

  1. I don’t know about chilis, but tomatoes are fruits – they bear seeds. The term “vegetable” does not exist in biology/botany, it’s purely a gastronomical/culinary term. And I’m far more of a biologist than a gastronomist, so I think you’re referring to the fruit just right. 😉

    While we’re on the subject, I’d like to note that the EU has declared carrots a fruit… I hope I don’t have to comment on that any further.

  2. What? For real? Well, it’s the EU, I’m sure there’s some bigger, retarded piece of reasoning behind it. I know that tomatoes were classified as vegetables by the US government for taxation reasons, maybe this is the same thing..

    Chili pods are seed pods, I guess.. To be frank, I really don’t know what that makes them.

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