Seeing is believing

We went and visited Mads yesterday. It offered some weird sort of peace within. As soon as they announced that they were waking him from his coma, Iben, Under, Penny, Mette, Robert, Anne and I decided to make the trip up there together. I had my reservations about going at first.  From what we knew, he would probably not be conscious by the time we arrived and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle the sight. Yet, in the end, I decided that seeing him with my own eyes would be better than speculations about his condition state based on whatever few facts we had.

So, we arrived seven man strong at the Intensive Care Unit at the neurology department of Aarhus Hospital where we were seated for a while before we were met by Mads’ dad, Steen, who was obviously not doing good at all yet seemed eternally grateful that we had showed up. We, in turn, thanked him for keeping us so well-informed and allowing us to visit. He briefed us briefly on Mads’ condition, and I guess we all shared a few silent tears while the doctors prepped Mads’ for our visit.

Eventually, we were let in to see him in groups of two. Well, that is to say, me being the odd guy out and the only one there without a partner, I opted to go in alone on the condition that I went first since I was the only family member present. I guess by now I’m done playing the tough guy on here, so I won’t lie to you; seeing Mads was tough, but not as tough as I’d expected. He’d been fucked up REALLY badly, but he was recognizable, he was even conscious.. barely. His eyes were swollen shut and he was unable to speak, but you could tell he was aware of my presence and recognized me by my voice. He even reacted to me holding his hand and the greetings that I’d promised to pass on. I could tell, though, that he was.. overwhelmed.. I guess by us suddenly showing up so I said what I had to say quickly and headed back out.

As I headed out I grabbed his visitors’ journal and headed back to the waiting area. Couple by couple, the others went and spent a few minutes with Mads and upon returning, we all signed his journal with our personal greetings and whatever needed to be said. All in all, I guess we spent about an hour at the hospital, saying what needed to be said to Mads as well as to his parents. It was a bit of a somber experience, but a good one at that. We all agreed that he didn’t look quite as bad as we’d prepared ourselves for, we were happy to hear that there were no signs of neither brain nor eye damage, and we were glad that the doctors thought they’d be able to fix every little thing about him along the way.. It’s gonna take a long time, but he’ll be whole again and that’s all that matters.

On the ride home, people were rather quiet and most of us spent the time updating friends and family about the visit. As I returned back to Kolding, I first took a stroll downtown to pick up a sandwich, then back home to eat it and reflect upon things.. I then went down to Louise as I’d made arrangements about spending the evening with her and a few episodes of Dexter. An arrangement that I ended up feeling really good about having made as I really didn’t much feel like spending the evening alone, and on top of that, Louise was being really sweet and caring about the whole thing, allowing me to sit down, watch some Dexter, unwind and get to smiling and laughing again before asking into the ordeal and having a nice, long talk about things.

When the night eventually came to an end at around 2 AM, I was feeling as good as I possibly could about the whole thing and actually felt happy that I’d made the trip up there despite nearly backing out out of fear of my own reaction.. It was a tough day, but a good one none the less. Now, at least, we know that Mads is getting better and that he will eventually be back to his own self. Regardless of how long it will take, we now have even more hope for the future.

Now I just need to kinda get away from everything for a while which is why I’m happy that Christian and Emelie will be here in a few hours to pick me up to go visit Tina for the weekend. I think it’ll be a needed break from every day life and I’m looking forward to it.

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