Luckily for you, dear reader, I usually make no effort to hide the fact that I’m a fucking dumbass. And in the spirit of that, I will not rob you of my story about my twisted love affair with the dreaded yellow habanero chili. See, I reckon I mentioned I bought this chili pepper plant of an unknown species earlier this week. I may also have mentioned that the sales clerk tried to pass it off as a regular, sweet pepper and that I was none too sure about her being right on this issue. So, well, for over 24 hours I’d now had this unknown capsicum plant standing around and the whole unknown factor thing was ticking me off. Something had to be done, and I – being the idiot that I am – knew it had to be done in a rather potentially dangerous manner. I’d simply grab a ripe pepper, cut off a piece and have a taste. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Well, have you ever taken a bit of a habanero before? Let alone done so thinking you were sampling a sweet pepper? Indeed the first few taste notes were mild, sweet, kinda citrusy.. And then the capsaicin hits and things go from sweet to.. Well, something else, something along the lines of a burning sensation of the tongue coupled with a numbness of the lips and a strange desire to down about a gallon of milk, which, by the way, I regretted not buying as tears started to swell up in my eyes and countless little coughs started escaping me. Apparently, water only worsen things at this point so I refrained from trying that as I spent the next ten to fifteen minutes pacing around the kitchen and cursing my problem solving skills.. Yeah! Good times! The pain eventually died down and after an hour or two, the feeling in my lips actually returned and I felt strangely happy and hooked. Yea, chilies will do that to ya.