Okay, admittedly, the title probably sounds more melodramatic than need be, but I’ve been spending a lot of time in darkness lately and somehow got to thinking about good, old Simon and Garfunkel.. So why all this time spent in darkness? Well, for starters, the loyal citizens of Denmark just did the whole daylight savings switchover to winter time meaning that we’re now spending a majority of our day in dark conditions, and on top of that, my old good friend, insomnia, is back.
It’s kinda strange, really, it’s been ten years now since we first met and we still really haven’t come to terms with one another. In the beginning, I of course didn’t much like the whole situation much, but I could at least understand that a “healthy” does of post-traumatic stress could leave to guilt and sleeping disorders. Besides, at 17, who really needed much sleep? Years dragged on, as they tend to do, and I eventually came to some sort of acceptance of the situation, I even came to some weird sort of appreciation of things. I’d tried drugs (legal, mind you), alcohol, natural remedies, meditation, the works. Drugs I were never a big fan, I hate feeling doped up, alcohol never really solves any problems (but hey, then again, neither does warm milk) – eventually I just resigned, became a creature of the night and learned to thrive on four hours of sleep a night for extended periods of time.
It hasn’t been too bad, I do like the night time as many people will attest. And I did feel fine not sleeping much at times, such as when I was really busy with several jobs, volunteer positions and/or school.. At such times not needing much sleep was even a blessing, coz, well, when you’re spending 16 hours a day focusing on school, work and what have you.. That doesn’t really leave time for anything else if you need your typical 8 hour of sleep.. And that’d have sucked.
Another positive aspect is that, over the years, things have actually gotten bettter. From not sleeping properly for months and even years on end, I’m now down to relatively short periods of sleep deprevation which is good, because as much as I hate to admit it I have to face the fact that my body is getting older than it was ten years ago and as such it also likes to complain a little more frequently than it did back then.
So, what this all boils down to, then, is that yea.. It’s back and it’s giving me a rough time this time around for sure. Probably mainly because I was doing really well for a long time, roughly getting the sleep that I needed and what have you.. And then, this last week it’s just been going absolutely crazy. My personal record for falling asleep early was 5 AM last night and that doesn’t really count because of the whole daylight savings roll-over, meaning it was essentially 6 AM which incidentally was the time I usually fell asleep at on the other days of the week, if not a bit later. I actually lie awake to hear Brian upstairs get up and get ready for work before I myself fell asleep. Other nights.. err.. mornings.. I remember thinking “Hey, Louise just started work now, and here I am trying to get to sleep.” (that’d be 7 AM for easy reference).. Crazy!
But oh well, there are upsides to insomnia. My buddy Gaz suggested watching the History Channel as it always put him out.. I tried that, only to discover that the History Channel is a great network. Ah yes, the wonders of lat night TV.. So other than that, I’ve had my fair share of Monster Quest, Destination Truth, Ghost Hunters, the Simpsons, even Friends.. Yea, maybe not watching TV shows was a better idea, but then again, that tends to just make me rediscover my love for reading. Ah, but there’s more, insomnia gives you many more hours around the clock in which to take care of things.. And believe you more, once you grow bored and frustrated enough, you will. Doing the dishes at midnight have become quite a stable in my household, as has 3 AM snack cookery, 6 AM cleaning and late night/early morning walks.. Brian’s new girlfriend (or whatever she is) even caught me arranging flowers at 2 AM last night (Saturday) as she returned home from clubbing. Or at least that’s what she thought. In reality, I was merely watering my plants (which was, admittedly, weird enough) and discovered that my ornamental capsicum annum, Oliver (if you don’t know the story behind the naming, you probably don’t wanna know), had been badly attacked by mysterious pests and was starting to take my yellow habanero down with him.. So, 2 AM pest control it was then, much to the surprise of the sweet, little blonde who passed by my window at that time. Granted, I might have been a little confused by the sight as well.
So, you see, insomnia isn’t half bad, or, more like not all bad.. But a week is about enough of this crap. It’s 1:15 AM as I’m writing this and after a long day of playing video games and watching movies with Dunkel, I’d like to get some sleep soon, before I have to get up for my 8 AM meeting tomorrow, sounds fair, right?