.. discussing Zombie Holocausts?! Yes, it’s true enough.. See, Dunkel and I quite accidentally found ourselves locked in a heads up game of Wisest Wizard last night and after having quite easily reached the level of Level 10 grand wizards and fought two instances of Boss Margarita, we started to become a little incoherent, so we decided to wind down a little and watch a movie which just happened to be “Shaun Of The Dead” – a brilliant movie, by the way!
Either way, it all went quite nicely and civilized until Dunkel posed the philosophical question of “What do you reckon would be the best way to survive a Zombie Holocaust?” .. Now, we could both agree that the best choice would be to board ourselves up somewhere. What we couldn’t really agree on was just where to board ourselves up. Dunkel argued in favor of a “canned foods storage” (whatever the hell that might be), his reasoning being that there’d be enough to eat. My reasoning, on the other hand, told me to pick a largeish supermarket of sorts with in house freezers, butchers, bakery and stuff, my reasoning being there’d not only be food but also ways of preserving it during a long siege.. And other supplies as well. This led to counter-arguments that most supermarkets have large glass store fronts and were hard to defend from attackers and arguments from my side that no one would know how to find a canned foods storage if such a thing really existed.
Evidently another solution was needed.. We quickly contemplated weapons stores and the likes but that idea was quickly abandoned since it was agreed that not a lot of Danish hunting stores and whatever carry weapons with sufficient firing power to blow the head of a bunch of rabid zombies.. After much bickering, it was finally decided that the best way to survive a zombie holocaust in Denmark would probably be not to board oneself up and wait for the national guard to fix things, but rather to team up with MacGyver and raid a local Home Depot store.. The reasoning behind this being that if left to roam over an entire building supply store, MacGyver would be sure to produce some sort of device and or weapon who could blow those motherfucking zombies back to whichever level of Hell they came from.
Incidentally, it was right around the time that this agreement was reached that I went “Fuck it, this is getting ridiculous”, grabbed my jacket and started heading home.. My new, warm, cheap and comfy winter jacket, by the way, that I acquired with the help of my beautiful assistant, Tina, after a 30 minute long raid/argument through a local shopping outlet which left more than one store clerk more than a little confused and Tina and I laughing our asses off as we exited the store after having basically spent 30 minutes yelling at each other first over whether or not Tina was allowed to try anything on, then whether she was allowed to spent any money and then, finally, over how much money she was allowed to spend..
The end result was something along the lines of her finding some comfort in picking out two jackets and scarfs for me and a single blouse for her self which I then, after much more bickering and bitching, paid for with my card (having gotten the cash from Tina earlier), she didn’t however, get the jacket she so wanted, mainly because we were having trouble convincing one of the clerks (who was at this point struggling to maintain his professionalism and not crack up laughing at our entire routine) to cut another couple of hundred DKK off the price.. This left the poor girl a little brooding as we left the store, but I’m still hoping that we can go back some day and fully convince him to cut a bit more off the price and let her have it.. If for nothing else then by using the logic that if he does, we won’t have to put up with another 30 minutes of Tina and I yelling at each other..
I hope that somehow works. She kinda deserves that fancy, warm jacket after not only putting up with me, but also helping me pick out a nice, warm jacket that for the first time this winter – which is now technically spring, I guess – has left me feeling all warm and comfy even on windy days. About time, some would argue.. And right they would be.. But my stubbornness kinda got the better of me on that whole issue and, after destroying my winter jacket in a drunken accident earlier this year, I refused to fork out the cash for another winter jacket since the season was almost over.. It essentially took a clearing sale, a stubborn Tina and some 70% in savings to make me change my mind.. But I digress (again).
Fact of the matter is, I have new jacket, it is warm, and it was acquired through much fun and weirdness.. And apparently it also kept me nice and warm through a drunken binge with Dunkel involving cans and cans of beer, duct tape and discussions of zombie holocausts.