I’ve learned some pretty interesting things in the school of life today, mainly that: a) cats are retarded, b) it is fully possible for a Kawasaki to outrun a Puch Maxi, c) If you’re not careful, vacuum cleaner bags can and WILL explode on you, d) said explosions leave one hell of a mess and e) if you go out of your way to pick up cleaning supplies to take care of the aftermath of said explosion, you’d best remember to bring your wallet..
I kicked off the day in an all too familiar manner – by being sleep deprived. For some reason, my raging mind decided it should keep me away until around 5:30 AM last night and as such, I felt rather confused and sleepy-headed when I woke up again at 11. I’d initially considered going down to the stadium to have a few beers and watch the Kolding FC home game with the boys, but I ended up deciding against it. All logic told me I should spend the day working on my thesis and not risk going out and getting drunk and as such miss not only today’s work, but probably also tomorrow’s as well. Especially since I may or may not have gotten drunk at the Uboat Friday (I honestly don’t remember much so maybe it never happened) and have spent all of Saturday out cold as a result.
So, instead I opted to take up Tina on her offer and zoom by her for a working day and a bit of fun.. Now, Tina is apparently watching her brother’s cat; a lazy, striped, partially cute, partially retarded piece of work answering to the name of Gizmo, I do believe, and apparently they’re still working out the few kinks of living together in a very confined space as was visible when I arrived and they were sprawled out on either side of the living room, not really talking. Apparently there’d been some controversy as to whether or not Gizmo was allowed to strut her stuff on the table and as a result they were now on bad terms.. Which lasted for all of five minutes before they were then playing cat and mouse with a plush toy and were then the best of friends for another five minutes until Tina wanted to cuddle and Gizmo wanted to sink her claws into Tina.. Not pretty.. I’m not entirely sure what kinda weird cat instinct kicked in here, but we eventually discovered that as soon as the poor, retarded kitty got comfortable on a soft surface, she’d respond by sinking her claws into said surface by clawing at it repeatably.. Which,spawned several minutes of fun by placing her on a woolen blanket.. Stupid cat!
Anyways, it wasn’t all fun and games.. We also managed to get some work done.. All while cursing some at the live updates from the day’s football matches.. Or, that is to say that Tina did most of the cursing as far as the scores were related and my major complaint was that I just plain wasn’t at the game, having beers and sausages and acting out..
By the end of the day, Tina needed to get to work and I needed to get home and take care of dinner, dishes cleaning up and all.. And it was on my way home, on a long, wide stretch of road that I witnessed perhaps the most unfair and stupid drag race of all time, featuring a Kawasaki Ninja pitted against an old Puch Maxi, retrofitted with a milk case and all on the back – the Danes will know what I’m talking about here, and hopefully share my nostalgic trip down memory lane.. Needless to say, it was a pretty uneven battle, that I never even caught the end off, but I’m pretty confident the Ninja won.
When I got home, I cooked up some quick dinner and got started on dishes, it went pretty well and I tore into wiping off dust and vacuuming as well.. Which is when my vacuum cleaner decided to blow up on me.. Or the bag at the very least. Apparently the “change bags now lest ye face the consequences” indicator was shot and the bag overfilled – and as a result, exploded, clogging up the filter of the damn thing and causing all sorts of havoc. It wasn’t too bad to begin with, I managed to lift out the blown out bag and most of the dust, hair, and other debris that’d spilled all over the insides of my trusty old hoover.. It really all went pretty well and civilized for a long while – until the garbage bag that I was carefully lifting the dirt into tore down the side and spilled its contents.. Mother of fuck!
Having watched the dust settle and having finished coughing and wheezing, I surveyed things: It could’ve been worse, I guess.. I had a vacuum cleaner, albeit a broken one, which had somehow still managed to catch most of the dust in its bowels as it dropped.. And I then had a kitchen floor filled with dust and various debris. A floor that needed cleaning.. And no clean rags, brooms, mops or anything with which to do it.. So off to the late night supermarket I went which is located conveniently far away for someone on foot (Denmark, take a hint, get 24/7 hour supermarkets like other civilized countries.. Now!) – but at least I knew they’ d have what I needed.. Now if only I’d remembered to bring my money.. Or at least realize that I’d forgotten them before I’d made the whole, long trip down there.. I’d have been home safe..
But, of course, I didn’t.. So a case of extra, unneeded exercise it was for me.. Good times.. At least I won’t go fat any time soon, I guess.. Seeing as despite having lost my physically demanding job, I seem to be able to find enough ways to keep myself occupied and moving.. Duh! Either way, I eventually got what I needed and eventually got my mess taken care off.. And now if you’ll excuse me, I hope not to be moving anymore tonight. At least not before Tina gets off work and may or may not want to go for an evening walk.