Her name is Izabella. She’s two years old. Her favorite activities include playing with puppies and holding hands. She cries when I leave and calls me at night before bed time to say goodnight. Her favorite artist is Bruce Springsteen and she really enjoys the song “Working On A Dream” which she likes to dance to when she’s not busy hugging or being mesmerized by me or my Motörhead t-shirt..
Wait? Huh? What? It’s all true! And weird.. I’m in Nyborg visiting my dad, look see.. And so of course I’m also hanging around the rest of the family including my half-sister, Mie, and her daughter, Izabella, who up until now have been scared shitless of me and men in general.. Well, I guess some time over the past month or so things have changed coz today, Birthe, Mie, Izabella and me were in the car heading out to doing some shopping and Mie is doing her best to relay the situation to her daughter, saying something on the lines of “Well, right now we’re gonna go get some food and then we’re heading home to get some dinner” at which point Izabella points at me and goes “Yes, he going with us too!” to which Mie looks at her totally perplexed and goes “Johan? No! He’s not coming visiting until tomorrow” which sends the little one into a hissy fit and has Birthe going “Why, Johan, I didn’t know you had such a way with the ladies.”
The even stranger fact of the day is that I actually do.. In fact, most of my best and closest friends are female, mainly because I find them to be interesting, compassionate and just plain awesome creatures, and they for some reason put up with me and my weird behavior. I’m not sure how that works, but I’m grateful for it. Also, me being the internet superstar and the epitome of rock ‘n’ roll that I am (ahem), the concept of female fans isn’t (strange but true) entirely new to me.. But, of course, most of you are in your early to mid twenties, and not exactly two years old.. The concept of a two year old fan kinda scares and confuses me, mostly because I hate children I’m not really a children kinda person, so I don’t know why they’d care too much for me.. Especially not if you add the fact that I’m generally loud, pretty vocalized and rather enjoy to rock both a pony tail and tshirts featuring cuss words as well as borderline satanic heavy metal imagery..
Never the less, the poor girl (bless her) is completely infatuated with me.. To a point where she’d barely leave the car once we got to the store unless I either held her hand and carried her.. Believe you me, a six foot tall, emaciated, long-haired heavy metal freak sporting a classic “Everything Louder Than Everything Else” Motörhead t-shirt prancing through a discount store with a two-year old blue eyed blonde baby girl by the hand or on his arm get quite a few weird looks.. But, today, that’s just how I rolled.. And the girl loved it.. The weirdness of which is only overshadowed by the weirdness I felt inside when I caught myself thinking that “hey, this isn’t too bad, she’s actually kinda adorable.. Wait, did I just think that?” – I’m having a hard time getting over that.. Because I generally think that kids are stupid not my kinda thing.
Either way, it kept on like that for a while until we drove back and dropped Mie and Izabella off at their home – at which point Izabella actually started crying as we made to leave.. At this point I was just completely dumbfounded and happy to just get out of there as I wasn’t really sure what the hell had just happened and why.. I eventually got back home to my dad and Birthe’s place where I had some lunch, worked some on my thesis, had a glass of wine, some dinner and did some more work amidst a few other glasses of wine. I later heard that Izabella had called to say goodnight and requested to speak to me to say goodnight but had settled for insisting that my dad told me goodnight and Birthe gave me a goodnight kiss.. Apparently she’s really looking forward to me coming over tomorrow..
What the hell? Really, I’m not a kids kinda person.. I’ve no idea what just happened.. But maybe I really should get that fan profile on Facebook up and running..