AC/DC Rocks Copenhagen, Part 4: Beating Around The Bush(es)

Leaving a large concert venue is always a somewhat interesting experience. Especially when you’re in a hurry, have to pee and am generally lost. Well, to be fair, peeing was much of a problem because everyone was looking to get the hell out of Parken arena as quickly as possible. Being in a general hurry and being lost was, though. So, after taking care of the business that had been pressing since Angus first kicked into the 15 minute extended solo on “Let There Be Rock”, I embarked on a somewhat impossible quest: Making it out of the arena, onto the street and then two kilometers onwards to the train station I’d arrived on, in less than 25 minutes – then from there onwards to the central station and then all the way back to Nyborg to sleep it out.. Needless to say, nothing of that happened.. And certainly not in that order.

Well, the exiting the arena part was quite easy, seeing as I’m quite small and can pretty easily zig-zag between (and over/under) people. It wasn’t until I found my way out of the arena and into a mosh pit of 20,000 people all looking to go in various directions that my troubles started. Firstly, there was the matter of actually finding out what direction to head in. This was complicated enough as I’d already spent a lot of time earlier that day walking around Parken looking for the right entrance and consequently not really having any idea which direction to head in once I’d found it. I ended up asking a few people with a bit of resignation and getting pointed in one particular direction. My next problem then became actually getting in that direction which proved difficult given the general amount of shoving and various people heading in various directions and not being keen on letting anyone pass in either direction. My third problem within five minutes quickly arose as I soon discovered that the people of Copenhagen are (very generally speaking) assholes!

Apparently the people I’d asked for directions before had had a bit of fun on my account and pointed me in a totally different direction than I was supposed to be heading in. Something I didn’t really realize before the crowd thinned substantially and I suddenly found myself wandering about amongst trees and bushes in a fuck off huge park that I certainly would have remembered passing through on my way there, had I actually passed through it.. “This isn’t where I parked my car,” I quickly thought to myself and started looking for some kind of salvation which I located in front of me in shape of a girl and a young man talking to each other in somewhat playful and definitively local terms. From what I managed to overhear, the girl lived near by and the hopeful young man was hellbent on talking her into letting him come home with her.

Sporting a blood alcohol level a bit above average and my usual do or die attitude – I approached the couple with a smile and a slur of apologies, telling them that I was very sorry but before anybody went home with anyone, would it be possible for either of them to point me towards the nearest train station. The guy, obviously confused at being cock-blocked like that (sorry, bro!) looked at me with nothing but shock and disbelief while the girl managed a “Wha?” and a giggle.. “I’m sorry, I went on, that came out kinda wrong.. Hi, I’m Johan from Kolding and I’m hopelessly lost, will you please direct me towards the nearest train station and then I promise I’ll leave you alone.” While the gentleman in the back did nothing but look at me with more shock and a bit of a fuck off look on his face, I’d clearly managed to spawn the girl’s maternal instincts as she shot me one of those “aww, poor baby” kinda looks, grabbed me by the wrist and said “better yet, I’ll show you there, I live right on the way, you can come with me” and added, to her friend, “and you can come back home with me afterwards, if you fucking behave!” .. Hah!

The next ten minutes were as interesting as they were strange and awkward. My new friend drug me along by the hand and arm while her other friend spent the time making snide comments and trying his best to make me wander off in all sorts of other directions with comments such as “See that alley back there? Just down there and to the left is the station from there you can take the train all the way back to Kolding.” Comemnts, by the way, which served no greater purpose than to further tick off his supposed catch of the day who had for some reason found all the sympathy in the world for me and were in no ways amused by his behavior.. Me, I just trotted along faithfully, speaking only when spoken to and feeling a weird mixture of embarrassment and gratitude.

My new, blonde friend walked me to within 3oo meters of the train station and gave me sufficient directions from then onwards for which I thanked her greatly and wished the both of them a pleasant evening as they went on from there. I then pressed on alone for the rest of the stretch, feeling utterly grateful to have run into such friendliness. I quickly made it to the train station which turned out not to be the one I’d arrived on hours before, but this in itself may have been a stroke of luck because while I’d wasted time wandering about and being lost in Copenhagen, I’d managed to miss the 0:15 AM train connection from that particular station.. But this one had a train departing for the Central Station just minutes after my untimely and unplanned arrival.. Which I jumped on, assuming in good faith that my prepaid ticket would be good enough for this trip as well.. Which I guess it was, no one bothered to check anyways.

I arrived at the Central Station not 8 minutes later and quickly bolted off the train and up from the platform, knowing that a connecting train to Nyborg had either just departed or was just about to depart – and I really wanted to get on that rather than facing a two hour layover in Copenhagen in the middle of the night. Granted, there’d be worse places to be stuck but I was tired, hungry and not really in much of a sightseeing or partying mood. So I made a run for it. As it happened, luck was (rather surprisingly) on my side again. The Nyborg-bound train should’ve departed some eight minutes earlier, but apparently the sheer number of drunk and disorderly AC/DC fans wanting to get on it had stalled it for long enough for me to run the length of a few tracks, down onto the platform, along the side of the train and through one of the doors just as they closed. Woo-fucking-hoo!

The train ride back was long and uncomfortable. I was standing up for most of the stretch and was pushed around quite a lot either by drunken idiots or angry staff. It was quite clear by now that the Danish State Railroads were quite fed up with handling hordes of drunken AC/DC fans and that they were quite looking forward to getting rid of us. Well, I’m quite happy to say that an hour and thirty minutes later, at shortly after 2 AM, they got rid of at least three of us as we dismounted the train in Nyborg and headed our separate ways home. Last thing I saw and heard while walking along the ridiculously long train to get off the platform were a rather crudely song version of “Dog Eat Dog” and a couple of older fans throwing the horns in my general direction. I responded with a few horns of my own, turned my back and left.

And so, after a long, exciting day and after one small, short little walk, I finally tumbled in the door at my dad’s in Nyborg, sat down for a while, then grabbed a much needed bit of food and beer from the fridge and slumped down in a chair to process the whole experience which still had me so wired that I was nowhere near ready to sleep. So I spent some time (and money 😉 ) texting with Zascha for some time while one bite of food turned into two bites of food and one pint of beer turned into two pints of beer which, eventually, at around 4 AM made me sleepy enough to try that whole sleep thing.. Good f’ing day!


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