I has a wine cooler!

It’s been a pretty quiet weekend in Johan-land.  Actually, most of it has been dedicated to working on my thesis (90 pages down, baby, ten to go!), but some epic stuff has happened such as my mom and Klaus dropping by somewhat unexpected with a birthday present.

When I say somewhat unexpected I mean that my mom did warn me on Friday that they might drop by on Saturday morning, so I did get some fair warning and I did manage to get up at 8:30 on Saturday just in case.. Not that I’d heard anything further or anything, and not that I did hear anything until around 10 AM when my mom called and was like “Yeah, we’ll be by in about half an hour’s time. Cool, I said, and put down my work for a while and started waiting.. Which I did for all of an hour until my phone rang again and my mom informed me that they were running a little late which, I told her, I’d kinda figured out after they didn’t show up after that half hour. My mom then started rambling on about how I’d misunderstood what had been said while I could hear Klaus in the background trying to press along down a totally different track as far as excuses went.. I never really did figure out what had happened or why they were running late, in fact, I’m not sure they even THEY know, but it’s nice to hear that they’re already at the point where they’re starting to disagree about things and bicker on like an old married couple.

Either way, long story long, they eventually arrived at around noon-ish and called me out to meet them in the drive way on account of them having difficulty getting my present out of Klaus’ car. Which is no surprise given that Klaus drives a classic, lowered, aerodynamic sport car kinda thing and they arrived with a box large enough to fit a fully grown Tina.. And about as heavy as a fully grown Tina as well.. Which, admittedly, isn’t really all that big or all that heavy but what with Klaus being close to retirement age, my mom being female and the space being rather  tight and narrow, it was understandable that they were having a bit of trouble.. And since it was my present and all, I figured I’d better come lift it out the car and carry it inside.

So, what all went into this giant, heavy box of doom? Well, since they hadn’t really bothered (or been capable) of wrapping the huge ass box, it was kinda easy to tell from the beginning. Yet, not really believing my own eyes, I still carried it inside and opened it to confirm that it did in fact contain a 15 bottle electronic wine cooler! Or, if you happen to be from America and think that a wine cooler is something you drink, we might also call it a wine fridge.. Either way, it’s a small cooling unit with adjustable temperature settings and enough room for fifteen bottles of wine.. and it’s f’ing awesome! In fact, I pretty quickly declared that it was the perfect gift for someone like me.. And at the same time a really bad gift for someone like me. See, given the recent string of birthdays, more or less expected dinners with Tina and what have you, I’m down to five bottles of wine in my personal collection.. Which leaves me with ten empty slots to fill and an already run amok collector’s spirit.. The fact that I now have substantially improved storage conditions for my wines also means that I can now buy substantially better and more expensive wines without necessarily having to drink them young or worry about the effects of changing temperatures in my basement.. As you can probably tell, it’s all a bit of a predicament! But even so, I think it’s an awesome present and I’m sure that the five wines that I do have are quite happy to be chilling at a cool 16 degrees rather than the pretty hot and humid comfort of our washing cellar at this time of year.

My mom and Klaus stuck around just long enough to witness my childish fascination with my gift and then raced on, excusing themselves with having a ton of stuff to take care off. I found it all a bit odd, but hey if they didn’t want to stay.. And I did have work to get back to, aside from assembling my new toy and re-stashing my wines,  so I guess it was all good.

I worked on my thesis till around 4 PM when I hit the 90 page mark and was like “fuck it, let’s celebrate!” I’d heard Dunkel was back in town so I headed down to him with a few beers and other interesting drinks, and so we pretty soon found ourselves in a pretty good mood watching some clips on Youtube and throwing down a few cold ones. We eventually got to talking about dinner and I’m not really sure how, but somehow home-made Chicken Cordon Bleu turned up.. As so oft before, when alcohol is involved, one thing let to another and before we knew it, we were on our way back from the store carrying DKK 255 worth of purchases including chicken breasts, emmentaler cheese, air cured ham, cream, a bottle of vodka and some extra strong lagers.. The last few items were mainly for inspiration as neither of us knew how to make Chicken Cordon Bleu, so we figured there’d be some discussion and planning involved.

As it turned out, when we got back, there was indeed very little planning involved as I did as I so often do and jumped gung-ho into the whole thing and started butterflying chicken breasts, thinking that was the way to do things.. It’s apparently not.. Apparently, you’re just supposed to pound them flat and then roll them around the filling, but I hadn’t bothered to do my research so I ended up with some really large, thin pieces of chicken. My main fear now was that they’d break or tear if I tried rolling them around the fillings, but luckily at this point drunken logic came to my help once again as we decided that rather than making two small Cordon Bleus and go through all sorts of worries.. Why did we not just make one GIANT Cordon Bleu, sandwiching ham and cheese between the two breasts and then not having to worry about rolling or folding anything? As an added bonus, we’d get a ridiculously large, unhealthy and in many ways revolting abomination of a Cordon Bleu in the process!! Genius!!

This all turned out to be not that bad of an idea; it certainly was easier to work with, it didn’t disintegrate during cooking (possibly because it filled the entire pan), that and there’s basically no end to the pride felt by two drunken idiots who get to make ridiculously large servings of unhealthy foods.. Especially not when they in another moment of sheer genius decide to top the masterpiece with some left over ham and cheese.. It really was beautiful. In a messed up kinda way


The whole thing was served with beerm roasted potato wedges and a sauce whipped up from roasted garlic, pan juices, chicken stock, nutmeg and cream.. Simple, filling, heart-attack inducing.. And surprisingly good for a first, drunken attempt.

Having thusly celebrated our own sheer genius, we kicked right into an extended movie night featuring.. Uhhh.. Dodgeball, Top Secret, Idle Hands and Zack & Miri Make A Porno.. I think.. I got confused.. At any rate, there was a lot of laughter, a lot of Jessica Alba, a lot of beer, some Offspring.. And I may have missed a few details along the way because at one point during Idle Hands we decided that it’d be fun to blend vodka, strawberry slush ice, brown sugar and more vodka and serve it up in tumbler style glasses.. As a result, we ended up splitting 2/3 of a bottle of vodka during half of what was essentially not that long of a movie.. Ah, good times! Which isn’t to say that a movie featuring Seth Green, Jessica Alba, music by Rob Zombie and cameo appearances by The Offspring wouldn’t have been pretty good times to begin with, I’m just saying that five shots of vodka in the process probably didn’t make it worse.

The whole beer/movie/vodka adventure lasted until about 1:30 when Dunkel had to forfeit which was probably, come to think of it, in everybody’s (all two of us) best interest. So I ended up walking home right around then, carrying the last half bottle of beer with me to finish once I got home which I of course did, coz you shouldn’t let good beer go to waste.. And I’m, come to think of it, quite happy that it all ended there because it allowed me to get up the next day, albeit late, without a hangover and actually get to enjoy my one full day off this week which was quite a nice experience, thank you very much. It’s been a long week but what little time I had off has been spent well, I guess now since we’re once again getting frighteningly close to 4 AM, I’d better get my ass to bed so I can get up at a reasonable hour tomorrow and get back to working on my thesis..

Sigh.. It’ll all be over soon.


4 responses to “I has a wine cooler!

  1. Jeg har altså masser af champagne, som godt vil låne lidt plads i dit vinkøleskab, hvis det er 😉

  2. Haha.. Jeg tror sgu ikke engang der er plads til alt dit Champagne, søde 🙂

    Og så er det jo heller ikke min, og så tæller det ikke, og..

    Okay, well, måske, hvis jeg får talt mig selv fra den ufatteligt dårlige ide, jeg render rundt med, men det gør jeg jo nok ikke 😉

  3. Og hvilken fantastisk ide er det så?

  4. Well, den involverer mere af hvidvinen fra min fødselsdag, Amaroner og Ripasso’er, og den er ikke så meget fantastisk som den er dum og overilet 😉

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