Johan and Tina’s Wild Weekend Adventures, Part 2

For the record, getting only five hours of sleep is not the best way of starting a day dedicated to cheering up a loved one. While years of sleep deprivation has taught me not to let my mood be affected by lack of sleep and rest, lack of sleep does make the execution of basic tasks such as well laid out, spontaneously generated, fool proof plans for the cheering up of tiny Tinas.. So it was with a bit of starting difficulties that I got up on Friday morning at 10 AM and started on my plan to spoil Tina silly.

The first part of my plan involved going to the store for four remaining ingredients needed for meals and drinks throughout the day. This pretty basic task was made exceedingly complicated by the fact that when I’d gotten up, gotten ready and all, I was entirely incapable of finding my house key.. Anywhere.. I literally spent about a half hour searching through my relatively modest living quarters only to eventually find it laying around under a stack of papers.. Go figure!

Having finally retrieved my key, I set off to the store, thinking that I didn’t need to bring my shopping list, coz well, how was I to screw up when I only had four items on it.. Ahem, well, as it turns out, when I arrived back some twenty minutes later, I did manage to screw up.. Or, well, I did make it back with four items.. Only, they somehow weren’t the items on my list.. Which seemed a bit confusing to me, but then I was really tired and so a second trip was quickly planned and executed.

It all was a bit of a mess, but luckily it ended up somehow fitting into my grand plan because I had Tina on text throughout my entire confuddled attempt to execute the most basic step of my plan and my blatantly screwing up always seems to bring a grin to her face, so in that aspect my grand plan was already working.. Tina was smiling and laughing.. On my behalf, granted, but hey, I’ve gotten used to that. Having finally gotten everything needed for the day, I made coffee, ate breakfast, showered, packed everything up and prepared to head down to Tina.. At which point another major problem occurred: In my grand effort to make everything perfect, considerate, personal and thoughtful, I’d ended up picking out and packing so many damn things that I’d filled up not only my backpack, but also two large plastic bags with groceries, drinks, frozen meals and what have you. Add to that the fact that the weather was actually nice and hot for a change and I had quite the long, tiring haul ahead of me.

Now, I think it’s fair to say that Tina has probably by now gotten used to a bit of slight exaggeration on my behalf in an effort to make everything right. But that’s not to say that she didn’t produce quite a bewildered look and an amused giggle when I crashed through her door, panting and cursing and dropping all my goods on her floor. Giggles turned to laughs and smiles when I started explaining the reasoning and considerations behind my apparent mad actions and I dare say she felt quite appreciated and spoiled once she got over the initial shock. At any rate, she didn’t seem very upset or unhappy during the day, but rather chatty, happy and smiling.. But then again, we apparently have that effect on each other.

After the few initial mishaps, things actually went rather smoothly. Tina worked on her presentation, I whiled away time surfing the web, I cooked her lunch of whole grain pasta with tomato/cream sauce which was immensely enjoyed by all (yes, all two of us) and consumed in portions more resembling dinner servings than lunch, but let’s not tell anybody, eh? Following lunch, we went on a long cosy walk around sunny ol’ Kolding, chatting and part-taking in our favorite activities which include bickering about everything and nothing in particular, disagreeing with each other for the sake of disagreeing, cracking jokes and commenting on the size of Tina’s ass.. Wait, that last part probably sounded wrong, so scratch that.. We also did laundry, a rather simple activity which, like so many other things we engage in together, ended in a feverish shouting battle when Tina dropped some stuff and my gentleman instinct told me to bend down and pick it up, not actually realizing that I was reaching for her.. umm.. delicates.. The resulting discussion was too weird to recall here, but leave it to us to turn something as simple as laundry into a huge argument.

After this first real martial crisis of the day, we decided to go grocery shopping since Tina was pretty much fresh out and even tiny people need to eat now and then, so we got into Tina’s car, drove to the store and went for one of the more entertaining grocery runs I’ve ever been on. Needless to say, it involved more arguing, some pouting, some ordering each other around and, again, a bit of shouting. It also involved a lot of turned heads from random passersbys and a few strange looks.. And why do people think we’re dating again?! 😉 Things got really out of control when I started bossing Tina around, telling her to act her age, behave, get out of people’s way and what not. This practice inadvertently got us talking to a chatty elderly gentleman who apparently thought we made a nice, healthy looking, young couple and that Tina couldn’t be blamed (as I was trying to do) for being in his way as he was the one sporting a large gut. I, being the utter asshole friend that I am at times, made some (entirely untrue) comment about it not being entirely his fault as Tina, too, was getting a little chubby. This, of course, made Tina pout and mutter “he’s always teasing me” in her littelest voice, while it sent our new-found friend on a long rant about how we couldn’t all be as slim as me and how he’d just recently quit smoking, gained a lot of weight as a result and was now working out feverishly to get buff and fit.. Which was probably all true, but still a bit of a weird stream of information to reveal to random strangers.

We eventually escaped our new chatty friend and continued on our happy bickering way. We eventually ended up getting a whole bunch of stuff. Needed and un-needed groceries alike.. We even got a chicken! Yes, a chicken! Well, a dead roasting chicken, mind you, but still. I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but we found a whole bunch of fresh roasting chickens on sale and somehow decided that since we were spending the entire Friday AND Saturday together, we might as well complete the happily married couple illusion and buy a chicken that we could prepare together for Sunday dinner. And so we did.. Before realizing that we had probably spent enough money by now and should leave the store.

Safely back at Tina’s, we probably did some more laundry and probably hung out and had a few laughs before I really made her day by presenting her with a homemade Mojito which she happily and beamingly consumed  in what looked like about three gulps while I got started on the Pad Thai dinner, I’d promised her for so long. I must admit I was rather scared by the prospect of cooking Pad Thai for dinner, not so much because I think I make a poor Pad Thai but more because Tina has actually been to Thailand and tried the real thing.. And nothing you can do in a miniature kitchen in Denmark can possibly in any way measure up to the experience of eating Thai street food in the proper settings.

As it turns out, I really had nothing much to be scared about, though. The preparations went more smoothly than I’d expected, Tina did a pretty good job at setting the table and pouring the wine while I stir fried everything to something closely resembling perfection and pretty quickly had a large serving of Pad Thai on the table which was approved by all, including the 50 odd percent of the dinner party that had actually been to Thailand and had had the real thing. The wine, too, was well received and both of us ate till we were about ready to burst. I’ve completely forgotten how filling a dish Pad Thai is.

After dinner, and some moaning and groaning, we cleared the worst of the mess out of the way and sat down to watch a few episodes of The Big Bang Theory before heading out to do the 28th load of laundry that day.. Give or take.. On our way to the laundromat, Tina did what she does best and looked at me with her pretty blue eyes and her sweet little smile and asked if maybe, perhaps, quite possibly, there would be enough ingredients left for another Mojito. There may even have been some batting of the eye lashes, I don’t remember, we all know I have a hard time saying no to cute she already had me pretty well twisted around her little finger.. And, besides, another Mojito? Well, duh!

So, we finished up quickly in the whole laundry department and hurried on back to Tina’s apartment where she got cracking on cleaning up after our Pad Thai dinner while I got cracking on making two more Mojitos. This is the kinda distribution of labor that I can get behind.. And, as it turns out, the amount time it takes to wash off the dirty pans and dishes from a Pad Thai dinner is about exactly the same amount of time it takes to make two perfect home-made Mojitos.. Well, there you go. This second batch of Mojitos were savored over the last few remaining episodes of Season Two of The Big Bang Theory, a perfect combination if I dare say so.

By the time we’d worn out Season Two of The Big Bang Theory, the clock had passed midnight and I was starting to really feel the lack of sleep, so it wasn’t too long after this that I excused myself and we thanked each other for a wonderful day before I headed out the door and home to get some much deserved sleep..

Ten hours of much deserved sleep, it turned out..


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