I’m bi-polar, hear me roar!

These past seven days have been an absolute roller coaster of a week.. Like really.. It started off bad, then went from bad to worse, by Wednesday, I just really didn’t want to play along anymore and then, all of a sudden, things went from bad to better over good to awesome.. Wait, I should probably explain..

I don’t get sad and depressed too often, but when I do, I do it pretty well. I guess this week was just one of those times where everything pissed me off and made me miserable.. Work, working hours, lack of luck in job hunting and the distinct decrease of my social life brought on by my weird working hours.. Everything was getting to me, and it was getting to me badly. By midnight Wednesday, I’d about had enough of everything and was ready to just sit down and mope about everything. But luckily, just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, it turned out that they really couldn’t and things slowly, but gradually, took a turn for the better.

First I got a few pointers, leads and contacts from my colleague Torben and my boss, Tina, and then I got a loving, compassionate smile and a squeeze from my sidekick and guardian angel Tina.. And that’s about the time when I had to surrender and display a smile of my own for the first time that week..

Honestly, I don’t know how she does it, but I can’t for the life of me stay mad, upset or sad around this girl.. And believe you me, I tried! I was, quite honestly, absolutely fuming when I got up on Thursday morning. Even as I walked down to Tina’s, I was wallowing in self pity and I think that for the first time ever, I wasn’t able to produce a smile when I walked in the door to her apartment – and in that aspect I guess it was a good thing that she was in the bathroom when I walked in.. Either way, fast forward a few minutes, Tina emerges, looks at me, goes “Aww, what’s wrong?”, I try to explain, she goes “that’s no reason not to smile”, I start arguing, and then she does this thing where she just sorta tilts her head, looks at me and smiles until I have to surrender and (God forbid) acknowledge that she’s right and shoot her back a smile of my own.

Really, I’ve no idea how the hell that works.. But I’m eternally grateful that it does, and I’m certainly not complaining.. Well, okay, I was complaining but that’s mainly because it’s expected from me. It’s one of those unwritten rules of our relationship. I’m supposed to complain about everything she does and blame her of all sorts of things – some more fair than others. As of lately, I’ve blamed her of such things as twisting me around her finger, the Holocaust, being entirely too obsessed with the Twilight saga and that emo vampire in general, our losing the battle as regards the environment.. And, most recently, of not allowing me to stay mad at myself and the world..

Okay, I forgive her for that last one, but nobody tell her, I’d hate to think I’d wasted a whole day yelling at her and giving her a hard time, just to let her know that she actually did good and that I was happy with her actions, comfort and support.. So shush!

Right, so, having spent some time talking things through and getting me in a substantially better mood and having done some work and having eaten some lunch (which we, by the way, now tend to do at different hours since I’m so much at home at Tina’s that I’m used to just grabbing stuff out of the fridge when I’m hungry), we decided to do something which always makes me feel even better.. We went for a walk.. Well, not only that, we actually went to get Tina’s winter boots fixed and possibly look at some new ones for her.. So, we went hopping around a few stores downtown in much the same manner as we usually do which means loudly discussing just about every imaginable aspect, and some quite unimaginable ones as well. And also entails Tina using the words “Can I have this?” quite frequently and me quite frequently answering in a negative manner. Only this time, Tina had been foolish enough to let me carry her wallet for her which of course led to even more confrontations because I could counter most of her enquiries with a “No, and I’ve got the money, so hah!” .. Okay, come to think of it, I can start to see why some people would consider us a couple.

Either way, it was all pretty good times despite us being caught in the rain and all.. And it turns out that some good natured fun, awesome company and a fair bit of arguing was really all I needed to turn my bad mood around. Funny how four days of feeling absolutely miserable can be completely reversed by a mere four hours in the company of Tina.. Again, I’m not sure how that works, but grateful I am. To a point where I’ve actually promised her that the next time I feel shitty, I’ll give her a call and have her fix it. Yea, I know, Johan asking for help.. Preposterous!

So, yes, good times indeed. Very thankful Johan! And the good times just kept on, even after saying goodbye to Tina (and Tine who had joined us on the last part of our journey downtown) and heading off to work. Strangely enough, I actually felt pretty good about heading off to work that day.. And the next.. And I got some unsolicited applications out as well that week, on a lead that Torben and the other bossy Tina gave me.. And in the end, one of the worst weeks of my life suddenly took a turn for one of the best in a long time.. I’m confused, but I’ve learned to sometimes just not as questions.. It’s easier that way.

In fact, a lot more good stuff was in store for me this week, but that’s another post..


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