“For the love of God!! You sound like you’ve been married for almost thirty years!!” came the despairing groan from Tina’s father. His reaction came in response to Tina and I launching into a rather innocent shouting match about whose wines belonged on which side of her wine cellar and which were hers or mine to begin with. And whether or not there had been an agreement about wine placement to begin with and/or whether or not the parties involved had adhered to this agreement.. Really just pretty standard stuff for Tina and I who like to discuss, bicker or argue about everything from the weather to, well, whatever pops to mind, really.. It’s disagreement for the sake of disagreeing.. Something that’s apparently new to Tina’s father who is happily married on the 27th year, and still doesn’t fight nearly as much with Tina’s mother as I do with his daughter to whom I’m not even married on account of her constantly turning down my proposals.. But that’s another story..
The fact of the matter is that Tina’s father’s reaction echoed one of many of our other peers, a general feeling that we’ve been married for too damn long and/or may be in need of professional counseling. A general feeling to which I’ve but one thing to say: “Bah! Humbug!”
Alright, okay, granted: we argue a lot, we tease each other constantly, and we have been known to get into heated discussions about mostly everything; real issues, not so real issues and ridiculously imaginary things.. But that’s just how we roll! I think you’d be hard pressed to find two people who deep down agree on most matters in the way that Tina and I do, but that doesn’t mean we have to admit to one another that we agree – and we won’t.. We’d rather take the fight about it. I’m not sure entirely how this trend started, but some time along the line it became cliche and now we’re at a point where we’ll look at each other weirdly if we don’t question each other’s way.. Consequently, others look at us weirdly and, at times, with no uncertain amount of annoyance when for the umpteenth time in a day we start questioning each other’s ways. So maybe, in a way, I could see that people would be of the impression that we argue a lot, or disagree a lot.. But really, we don’t..
Maybe it’s a defense mechanism of sort, a way of blowing off steam.. I don’t know.. At any rate, the number of times that Tina and I have genuinely argued about something or had real disagreements can probably be counted on the fingers of a single hand, something that can’t be said for the number of years we’ve know each other by now.. Which, incidentally, is another reason why people think there’s a sort of marital connection going on.. The fact that we just plain get along together.. And that we hang out together.. A lot.. And that we’ll take crap from one another.. A lot.. Without getting pissed off or offended. Apparently that’s not to be either, though I really see no reason why I shouldn’t be able to make inappropriate comments about Tina’s ass and she in turn calling me old and balding without everybody flying into a hissy fit about it.
Right, okay, so maybe making comments about your best friend’s ass is a little weird, but I still think it’s better than that one time where we were browsing some clothing store and I told her she couldn’t have a certain blouse because it didn’t do her cleave justice and the clerk nearly fainted in shock and horror while Tina merely shrugged and went “meh, you’re right..” My point here being that it’s all about knowing each other and knowing your boundaries.. That and being able to cook! See, everybody has feelings and everybody has certain boundaries, and I think you owe it to yourself and your best friends to know about these feelings and boundaries and to stick within those. Luckily for me, Tina is pretty lax with these and cuts me a lot of slack on account of me playing the best friend part and her being well aware of the fact that I’m an idiot and that I say and do stupid shit from time to time.. Cause that’s how I roll and that’s why I’m lucky to be blessed with good cooking skills. Because, well, once in every, say, three years, I’ll say or do something that genuinely hurts or offends the poor girl. Involuntarily, of course, but it’ll still make me feel like crap, and take me about two seconds to break out the pots, pans, knives and chopping boards, and be like “I’m so sorry, baby, look I made you lasagna!” .. Or something to that extend.. Which has, so far, seem to done the trick, because hidden within her small frame lies not only a big heart, but also a love for good food to match the size of said heart.. It’s somewhat of another cheap trick, I know, but when my luck with word fails, there’s always the luck with food to fall back on.
Speaking of food, that’s apparently another indication of a happy marriage.. I mean the fact that we eat together upwards of three times a week. Well, I hate to break it to the self-proclaimed geniuses out there, but if we were married, we probably would eat together more than three times a week? I’m reasonably sure that our eating together is merely yet another indication of the appreciation of each other’s company, an excuse for me to try out new things and get a few pads on the back in the process.. And a part of my master plan to turn Tina’s ass into something worthy of it’s own Sir Mix-A-Lot song.. Oops, right, I was supposed to stop those references as to not give people that wrong idea.. Sorry.. Can’t do it!
And, and, and.. I could go on and on.. But, oh well, no matter what I say, people are still gonna have their own little ideas of the what’s going on and there will constantly be new people who show up and get the wrong ideas and it’s partially probably our own fault in the way we act, so why bother and not just have a laugh?
So here’s to another 3o years, babe, let’s make the best of them! 😀