I’m no hero.. I’m just the king of awkward timing!

I busted my first ever drug deal a few days ago! But I’m no hero! Actually, I didn’t exactly mean to do anything, it just sorta happened, and it didn’t exactly make me very popular amongst the street crawlers.. But at least, as you can tell from this posting, I did make it out of the experience alive and kicking.

Here’s the thing, I have inherently bad timing, and I have a way of not always paying attention to what’s going on around me.. And at times, that just lands me in some pretty peculiar situations.. Like a few days ago when I just happened to be out taking a nice, little brisk walk.

It was one of those wonderful (and by wonderful I mean horrible) Danish winter days where sun kinda gives way to snow which gives way to sleet which eventually gives way to pouring rain before the whole circle of life.. errm.. downpour.. just starts all over again. On this particularly lovely Danish winter day, I had left the house during the sun period, started texting back and forth with Tina during the snowy period, stuck my phone in my pocket and started bailing from the impending rain during the sleeting period, and bolted into a covered alley between a couple of houses during the rainy period.. Where I immediately skidded to a halt and pulled my phone from my pocket to send a reply to Tina whom I had left hanging during my sudden escape from the elements..

As I hurriedly pull out my phone, I look up – only to stare directly into the faces of a couple of shaking, hooded, emaciated young men with tattoos, huddling in the far corner over some preeeetty conspicuous business involving things changing hands in a rather rushed manner. They, in return, sneer at me and take off in one direction while I barely have time to mumble “OH FUCK!” and bolt off back in the other direction from whence I came..

Reminding myself in the process that charging gung-ho into a possible drug deal while pulling a camera phone from your pocket is the sort of behavior that just might get you in serious trouble in some parts of the world.. And, at the same time, thanking my lucky stars that I live in a country where junkies are more likely to be afraid of you than you are to be afraid of them.. Well, at least in cases like this where they seem to have plenty of dope to share and money with which to buy it anyways. See.. Sometimes the ways of society work out in the favor of the king of awkward timing that is Johan.

Incidentally, and almost unsurprisingly, the rain stopped right at the very moment that I was done stirring up trouble and wrecking havoc.. But at least I didn’t get wet.. And I get to feel proud of having broken up a drug deal.. Or at the very least moved it some ten feet down the street to the next alley.. Whether I need to feel proud or accomplished or stupid and lucky, I’ve yet to decide.. It’s all just another unanswered question and a terribly weird experience from the life of the Johan.

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