Home Sweet Home (screw you snow!)

For someone who doesn’t much appreciate celebrating Christmas, I’ll have to admit that I got around to doing it quite a lot this year. Actually, I celebrated over three whole days, in three different towns none the less! Which is actually some what of a feat considering the Xmas weather, we have been blessed with this year.

As mentioned, I spent the day before Christmas with Tina and her mother, having lunch, a few schnapps and a beer, talking, arguing, making fun of one another, y’know, the usual business.

Christmas Eve, I spent with my mother at her house, having a very un-Xmassy dinner and quaffing cheap Champagne (as you do!) and then on the morning of the 25th, I got up, grabbed a bus, then a train and eventually, somehow one way or the other found myself in Nyborg where I was to have a late lunch, some Belgian brews and a bit of wine with him and his family.

I was kinda worried about the whole trip to Nyborg. After all, they do state over and over again every year that holiday mass transit is pretty much akin to hell on earth. I can’t say I had very many problems, though. I half walked/half skidded onto a bus (yup, it’s still snowing here and freezing and everything is still covered in ice) and went from it almost straight onto a waiting train at the station which didn’t seem to have very many problems either.. If you disregard such minor issues as it missing four carts and every restroom on board being out of order. I mean, sure, everything was a bit overcrowded (possibly due to the sudden lack of train carts?), but if a train being overcrowded means I’m forced to spend an hour squashed between a very attractive brunette and a very attractive blonde snoozing on my shoulder.. Well, then I’m just plain not certain that trains being overcrowded is such a bad thing after all! But that’s just my opinion.. And, ahem.. I digress.. Again.. Fact of the matter is that I had a very pleasant and surprisingly uneventful journey, and arrived on time.

I had a very nice time at my dad’s at well. I mean, sure, there were a lot of noisy kids, the usual bits of family drama and what have you.. But there were also a fuckton of food, a variety of Belgian beers, a splendid bottle of 2008 Crozes Hermitage, a Limited Release 2007 Australian Shiraz (look Tina, I drank Shiraz and I liked it!), a few drams of 15 year old whisky and other good stuff as well.. In fact I was reasonably surprised I didn’t walk away with a heart attack from all the fatty foods and all the good drink.. Or at the very least crawled away with a heat attack.. Or just had one in my chair.. Because, let’s face it, I wasn’t doing a hell of a lot of walking after that whole ordeal.

Which was probably for the better because I couldn’t really walk anywhere.. On account of the weather being shitty! And by shitty, I mean 20 below 0 shitty with fucking wind and heavy snowfalls to boot! In other words, pretty much enough to make me turn sour and not want to go anywhere which was one major reason for me ending up spending a few extra days at my dad’s rather than going home on the 26th as I had originally planned. I say one reason because other, valid reasons included promises of free food and more wine experiences, and other minor details such as me staying up till 4 in the morning sipping whisky and discussing important things like literature, cooking and wine with my dad.. In other words, staying till the 27th seemed to be the reasonable thing to do!

And so I did, in the hopes that the weather and traffic situation would have changed for the better by then. Which, of course, as it turned out, it hadn’t. Not the weather, and certainly not the traffic or train situation. In fact, apparently some things changed for the worse. In essence, the train trip home started out looking much like my trip over there: My homebound train was also missing a few carts like my outbound train before it, the restrooms were in much the same state as those on the way there (i.e. not working!) and to add to the misery of the whole situation, the train was also ever so slightly delayed.. To a point where I actually remember standing at the train station and hearing these words over the PA: “Ladies and Gentlemen, Intercity train towards Jutland with planned departure at 6:46 PM should arrive at platform 3 within five minutes, at 8:25 PM.” Which, in a strange kinda way, sounded like sweet music in my ears as my feet at the time had gone from horribly cold to “I think I have frostbite” cold.

Long story short, I eventually got on my homebound train a day or so late and more than 45 minutes after I would have been home, had the damn thing actually departed on time. But what are you to do? It’s the holidays, the weather is crazy, you can’t well blame the train crew.. So I did what anybody in my situation would have done which was to smile, board the train and give the crew a hand with the cleaning.. Actually, that’s probably not what anybody in my situation would have ended up doing, but I’m Johan, strange things happen to me.. Like this time, where the stewardess asked if I’d mind giving her a hand and somehow my answer turned out to be “Of course not!” .. Yeah, I’m not sure either, but at least it helped pass the time until I eventually arrived at Kolding station at 9:30 PM, only a day and a few hours late. Luckily, by the time I hit Kolding at least the snow had stopped coming down so I managed to drag myself home without too many problems.

When I was finally home at my own little place, I kicked the door up, wound down, started to unpack and realized that someone – probably either santa, my dad or some other such sneaky bastard – had snuck a bottle of quality French red wine into my bag while I was looking.. Thank you, whoever you are, it will be much appreciated in some good company come the best possible occasion!

And thus ended another only partially wanted yet crazy, busy and exciting Christmas for Johan.. I’m glad it’s a year till the next one, I could do with a bit of a break.. And a quiet night in, thank you very much!

Seasons greetings, everyone, hope you all had fun!


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