Category Archives: News

I’ve become a poster boy: Johan’s first headline appearance

I mentioned in my last post that my boss thought it pretty funny to have me interviewed by a journalist and not tell me anything about it in advance.. I did find the whole story rather odd, but honestly didn’t think much about it.. Well, that is until I received the Friday afternoon edition of the Computer Reseller News newsletter..

I click through the HTML e-mail.. And what do I see but my own damn mug used as an image for one of the headline stories? “… Really?,” I think and click through to the main story on the CRN website.. And surely enough, there I am.. As a poster child for my company’s increasing focus on web-based sales and marketing:

Really? Yes, apparently so.. I mean, I know my new boss said they have great expectations for me, but to spin a story out of my recent employment in a major industry news outlet.. Really? Wow!

Mom’s gonna be so proud! 😉


Hey Tina!

At the risk of repeating myself, congrats on the teaching job, sweetheart! 🙂

And you know I wouldn’t be your favorite asshole friend if I didn’t make some inappropriate, idiotic comment.. Or in this case, let Van Halen do it!

Van Halen – Hot For Teacher

Oh right, for those who may not have deducted from the ramblings above, apparently Tina got a teaching job today! Expect more details as I receive them, but since it was already on Facebook, I’m guessing it’s okay to share the news 😀

Well, my friends.. It’s been four years

It’s hard to believe, but we’re now on our FOURTH year of Random Drunken Rants!

April 16, 2006 is the day I started wondering what this whole blog business is all about and decided to try and set one up just for shits and giggles.. And since then it just sorta expanded and got bigger, better, stranger and decidedly outrageous. Some of you have been along for the ride all the way from the start and I truly compliment you for putting up with me for so long, you deserve a hug – or a pat on the bag – all according to preference. Others have tagged along at some point during the ride, some have gotten thrown off, some have come back.. But all of you are very appreciated!

It’s funny, I started out doing this thing for myself. Then for a few selected people. And now for a global audience (as well as for myself and the original few, still, of course). I’ve gone from three views a day to 1,200 views a day when things were really crazy. I’ve been featured on’s Top Posts and Growing Blogs lists and have been linked to by porn sites, indie artists and the United Nations alike.. All for just sharing my daily life, personal thoughts and strange fucking ideas.  I’m now back at a much more comfortable 30-50 views a day which is just as awesome to me because I know that most of these hits are from loyal readers with a genuine interest in my crazy ramblings. Whether these be best friends, good friends, acquaintances, friends from around the world or people that I plain don’t know but still somehow managed to draw in by my writings.. Did I mention you’re all very appreciated?

And that I thank you for taking an interest in me, my opinions, and my little life? Which I suppose I’ve been quite open about, so apologies are in order for anyone who have gotten offended or otherwise rubbed the wrong way in the process. It’s funny because over the last couple of years, there’s been this growing concern with online appearances, image, divulgence of information and expression of opinions on Facebook and other social media alike. You’re supposed to be very cautious about what you say, the opinions you express and the ways in which others perceive you. Me? I pretty much say what I want to, and write what I feel.. And as far as appearances go, I’ve always been more considered with the way I portray others than the way in which I portray myself.. Which may sound a little weird for someone who regularly refers to his best friend as somewhat (adorably) retarded and make more or less inappropriate comments about her ass and what not.. But that’s just how I roll, and believe you me, I would not make such comments if I wasn’t certain that Tina was okay with it and appreciates the humor and blatant stupidity in my ramblings.

I really can’t say if that’s a smart way of doing things, but what’s most important to me is that my rants here don’t serve to hurt anybody else, paint the wrong picture, or divulge too much information in one way or another. I’m much more happy making myself look like the idiot that I am than making others look like the idiots they’re not. Whether that’s smart or not, I guess, would have to be determined. But at least I’m not hurting anyone else with my rants. I’ve never really had a problem with portraying myself as a bit of an idiot because at times I am a bit of an idiot. It’s all in good fun and with a healthy dose of Danish self-irony. I’m only human, I do stupid shit.

So, to those who have taken offense along the way.. Whether it be because I make heavily opinionated statements about anarchists, refer to my best friend as “retarded”, or portray myself as a drunken idiot. Well, I’m sorry.. But I don’t really think that’s going to change. I’m gonna keep having my opinions, I love Tina to death, but I’m  gonna keep affectionately referring to her as an idiot.. And if this weekend is to be any indication, well, I’m gonna continue to do stupid drunk shit and tell the world about it. If that offends you and makes you think of me as a bad person, then so be it.. I can’t really change that.. But I probably would think you a bit narrow-minded in return. Chances are if you chalk me off as offensive, a drunk or irresponsible, you’ve only really dropped by and read a single post about me doing something decidedly drunken and dumb.. You’ve probably not even bothered to read other posts about me saving lives, being thoughtful or doing sweet shit.

To those of you who are not too horribly offended and follow my rants on a regular basis. Again, I thank you, thank you for a good four years and here’s to yet another!

I’ll leave you with a few random stats about the site:

In for years:

– I’ve posted 916 posts

– You, in return, have posted a total of 709 comments – keep them coming, I love those!

– In April, 2006, the average number of daily visitors was 6, this has risen to 21 in April of this year. Which is a bit of a fallback from June 2008 when the average was 321, possibly owing to a certain world tour by a little known act called Metallica.

– In total, 84,736 people have dropped by this site. None of these visits have happened today, but 1,291 happened on June 1, 2008.

– The most popular search term on the blog, other than “Metallica”, is “thong”

In other weird news: Belarus declares Rammstein enemies of the State!

In what can only be described as the funniest incident I’ve heard this month, Belarusian authorities, apparently with the approval of President Lukaschenko, have declared German Shock Rockers Rammstein enemies of the State in an effort to ban them from performing in Minsk on March 7. Here’s a very quick paraphrase of the gist of the case from a German article on the matter:

“German rock band Rammstein would undermine ‘the order of the
Belarusian State,’ ruled the moral
Authority of the totalitarian ex-Soviet republic.

Consequently, the Social Council for Morality, supported by President Alexander Lukashenko, abruptly declared the band a public enemy. This happened in regard
to a March 7th concert planned to take place in Minsk.

Rammstein’s songs were allegedly propaganda for ‘violence, masochism, homosexuality and other perversities,’ which stood in stark contrast to Belarusian values.

‘A permit for a Rammstein concert is a mistake that could cost us a dearly,’ it was ruled”

For those looking to brush up on their German, the article in its entirety can be found here:

The editors here at Random Drunken Rants would like to thank long time reader, big fan and head mascot Tina for submitting this absolute gem of a news story.

Oh world, when will you ever learn that “Rock is not the Devil’s work, it’s magical and rad”?

Random Drunken Rants joined Facebook.

It’s true, it’s true.. As is the case with all major rock stars, movie people, sports teams and even my friend’s dog, you can now become a fan of Random Drunken Rants on Facebook.

Actually, this is more of a reason for me to have more Web 2.0 stuff to play with and gain some new experiences in linking services and what not.. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t become a fan! 😉

So if you feel like it, check out the *very* new Facebook page of this very blog, and fan me up if you like.. Who knows what may come of this?

Random Drunken Rants on Facebook

New Day, New Johan, New Look..

First and foremost, the observant reader might have noticed a small change to the style and layout of the blog.. This is owing mostly to a mistake I made last night.. So, for the record: Don’t go through a week on antibiotics plus work, then do a 3 AM Barley Wine tasting, and then start thinking “Hey, what if I just tweaked this little setting..?” – You might wind up spending several hours tweaking settings, fixing widgets and messing with layouts and themes in an effort to either get things back to normal or improve them.. Either way, the results of that little mishap are starting to show.. I hope you’ll approve, if not, drop me a line or a comment..

In other news, today is Saturday (wow, Johan, really?).. This means that I’ve not only made it through the first week back at work after my brush with the seasonal flu and a bad case of tonsillitis. It also means that I’ve made it through my week on antibiotics.. Well, nearly.. I’ve got a single pill left which I’m supposed to swallow in a few hours and hopefully then I’ll be well and fine. I’m still a bit coughy and sneezy, but I guess that was to be expected.. At least my throat doesn’t hurt like fuck all anymore. A cold I can live with.. The flu and tonsillitis. Not quite so!

To celebrate the fact that I’m doing a hell of a lot better, I’ve decided to pull myself together and get my ass back in the kitchen for the first time since, well, 2009.. December 26 to be exact.. Back in the test kitchen, even.. I’m currently guesstimating my way through brining and slow roasting a small Cornish hen for, well, experimental purposes I can’t really elaborate on yet.. As always I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing, but it should be interesting at the very least.. And if all fails I have, as always, back up on the fridge, in the shape of a nice bottle of Chablis, so one way or another I’m sure I’ll have a party to celebrate being somewhat back in shape after two and a half weeks of sickies, antibiotics and what have you..

So, to sum it all up, things are slowly getting back to normal (other than the layout of this blog, I guess).. I hope to be back to my normal self before next week.. And the same goes for this blog, I pray.. It’s been quite a while since the average length of my posts has been this short.


This is just a small test. Apparently WordPress offers a feature to let you connect your blog to your Twitter account and automatically tweet updates about new posts. Since I don’t update quite as often as I used to, I thought this would be a good way of letting people know whenever new posts are available.

Nothing much to see here, please disregard. More real updates shortly.